Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Summer Days: Day 6/7

Can you believe it's only been a week of summer? It feels like so much more, doesn't it? Ugh, what am I going to do with myself for all of this time? Sure, there's reading, blogging, writing, stage managing, homework, even (though that's a stretch) but I'm just so bored.

Scratch that, I'm just really, really tired. These 7-11 rehearsals at Richter are kicking my butt right now. I should probably sleep, I have a lot to do for Richter tomorrow. Job Chart? Ew.... That'll be fun. Not.

On the bright side, I'm slowly but surely putting TV shows on my iPod. And by slowly, I mean at the speed of a turtle stuck in molasses. Life, you're killing me. Slowly, but surely.

So nothing exciting happened yesterday or today. I watched some TV, some YouTube, read, wrote, went to rehearsal, etc. I'm doing so badly at this "everyday blogging" thing... Maybe I'm just not cut out for it? That's a lie, I love it.

My sarcastic mood will wear off after a solid nights rest, and then I'll write something meaningful in the morning. Maybe... Probably... Hopefully.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

Summer Days: Day 4/5

Eh, so I forgot one day. I'll consolidate. I'm saving the environment.

So today was a pretty good day. I think my parents got food poisoning at the wedding they went to last night. They're both super, duper sick and like... dying. Okay, so that's an extreme, but they're definitely sick, which is bad...

On a side note, I downloaded all of the episodes of The Guild onto my iPod, and have been fighting iTunes with swords for hours trying to get them EXACTLY as I want them in a playlist. It's very demanding. I'm feeling faint.

No reading... I'll read during the day. Maybe.

I have a lot to do this coming week. I need props. Prop list. Eh! MUST BE A GOOD STAGE MANAGER.

I'll start by going to bed...soon.

See? Consolidation complete.

PS: My iPod failed at accepting that I know more than it does. It self imploded. Crap.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Summer Days: Day 3

Today is Friday; the beginning of the weekend. And to be more specific, the beginning of the second weekend of the production of Guys and Dolls that is playing at Richter Park this summer. It seems almost like summer is trying to fly by quickly. Even though it's only day three, I almost find myself being bored. Last night, I was up until obscene hours of the night, just because I was bored and couldn't sleep. And... well yes. Let's face it. Also because I can.

But I have so much to do this summer! This weekend! I really just want everything to go smoothly, but I don't know how this is all going to work. It's almost like, even though it's summer, I'm still in that state of mind where I'm constantly working. Is this how adults feel? I sure hope not.

Anyway, I have something else to talk about. Maybe it's allergies or something, but lately, every time I eat, I get sick to my stomach. Not like, nausea, but more like that feeling that you just ate something rancid and now you don't feel good... But every single time... It's weird, and I almost don't want to eat anymore, because I don't want to disrupt my stomach. I don't know. Whatever.

I stayed up until three in the morning last night. Why? I was watching this show that someone tweeted about, called The Guild. I'd never even heard of it before, but I'm so glad that I watched it. It's so funny. Each episode is like five minutes long, and the basics of it is that there are a group of people who play a game that's similar to World of Warcraft, and they've formed a guild called the Knights of Good. But then one of the guild members goes missing, and shows up at the main character's house and says that he's in love with her. And then they meet each other in real life, and everything is changed.

But anyway, I recommend the show, because it's really funny. And the new season of The Guild comes out on July 13th, which isn't that far away.

I need to clean my room so I'll be able to go out after the show tonight. I do live to party. Not really, but I enjoy going out with the cast for a drink (mine include Mountain Dew most of the time.) Let me make a To Do List for today.

-Make chore chart
-Learn "June" dance
-Clean my desk
-Clean my bookcase and the floor next to it

I probably won't get around to the chore chart... I'll make that tomorrow when I go to the dancing school...

YANTA mushrooms? Probably.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Summer Days: Day 2

So, I've been thinking about what I was going to write all day. "Is anything interesting going to happen? What if I freeze and end up having nothing to say?" Well, conscience, never fear. Stuff happens, and I'm here to talk about it.

First of all, I haven't gotten started on my IMMENSE summer reading list, partially because I want to get my required reading out of the way. I have to read three books, do a report on one, quotes on another, and be ready to give an oral presentation on the third. Needless to say; that will take me some time. So, I think I'm going to have to eliminate some books from that list... We'll take this as it comes, though.

Second of all, I've been Dailyboothing for about four or five days straight as of today, and I'm proud of myself. This is the longest I've ever gone... We'll see how long it lasts, but you can check out my Dailybooth at this link. And on top of that, I've been doing regular twitter updates, so, if you're so inclined, feel free to follow me on twitter at this link.

I just got home from rehearsal, and I'd like to say what a horrible feeling it was. The rehearsal process is fantastic, don't get me down. But the feeling that I'm doing something wrong is just horrible. Every time we took a break, I was practicing that freaking dance, and every time I would get it right. I'm one of those people who has to keep trying to ingrain it into my freakish brain. So I did, and I worked my ass of to try and keep up with the real dancers. Yes, I made mistakes, but I did my best. But I have to say that it is the worst feeling in the world when you can see the choreographer and the director whispering to each other and then pointing at people and nodding. Are they saying how much I suck? Probably. Are they complimenting how hard I'm working? I seriously doubt it.

And to be honest with you, I feel like it has nothing to do with dancing ability. Let's say there are two girls. Girl 1, and Girl 2. Girl 1 is about five foot six, very slender and can't dance too well. Girl 2 is about five foot even, not slender by any means, and also isn't a dancer. Nine out of ten times, they will choose Girl 1. And quite honestly, I don't think that's fair. At all.

But that's just me rambling about my weight and what not. I'm going to do something about that this summer. I know I say that every year, at least three times, but I really mean it. I'm watching what I eat, cutting out soda, and not eating bread or starches. It's a hard thing, like getting over a nicotine addiction, but it'll work out. They say that if you resist the temptation 356 times, you'll have broken the habit. But, that being said, you can still fall right back into the familiarity of that habit without blinking an eye.

In other news, it's just after ten at night, and... well... I'm really not tired. My schedule is completely backwards, and I really plan on staying up for... a solid forever. Sounds good, eh? We'll see what I'll be saying tomorrow night during Guys and Dolls performance, or the following morning at 42nd Street and then another show of Guys and Dolls. I'm just so busy! ASKDFASLJKFDAJD!

I feel like I have no more time to be a kid. There's no one telling me to eat my green vegetables anymore, no one telling me I have to go to bed at a certain time (Well... there is for that one, but I have a huge tendency to ignore it and then sleep in. Summer...) and to some extent, my room has been extremely messy... So... I don't know. I'll say it like it is.

My name is Siobhan Kathleen Ryan.
I was born in Pt. Charlotte, Florida.
I currently reside in Danbury, Connecticut.
I am entering my Junior year at Danbury High School.
I'm five feet tall, with long brown curly hair and light brown eyes.
I'm not skinny by any means.
I love to sing, but I've never taken lessons.
I want to learn how to play the piano and the guitar
I'm the vice president of Tri-M in my school.
I'm also going to be the leader of an a capella singing group out of Tri-M
I've been taking French since I was in Kindergarten
I hate French.
My favorite colours are purple, red and yellow.
I like animals that are black and white, or shades of gray.
I like really bold patterns that catch your eye.
I don't drink soda.
I'm a stage manager for 42nd Street at Richter Park.
I'm the assistant stage manager for Guys and Dolls at Richter Park
I'm in Carousel at Richter Park, where I think I might be dancing.
I'll be starting a tap class in the fall.
I love to act.
I love to write stories that go no where.
I'm me.

I think that sums me up. Like, honestly, I'm amazing with giving everything an adjective. Except for myself, of course... I guess that makes me kind of... See? No clue.

I was sitting in my math class, taking the final, and I was thinking about my writing. So, I go up, hand my final in and take out the book that I happened to have in my bag (I had lent it to someone). I didn't feel like starting it, because I wasn't interested in reading it right that moment, so instead I read about the author's inspiration for the book, hoping to spark some of my own. Instead, I found this quote. Let's just say that it describes my writing to a T.

"Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts; historical, social, climatic, culinary--which will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. The descriptions burst with colour, contrast and telling detail. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story, regardless of whether the history or the food is right. Your story is emotionally dead, that's the crux of it. The discovery is something soul-destroying, I tell you. It leaves you with an aching hunger."

Maybe you're not a writer, maybe you are. But to me, that quote is like... Everything. That describes writing so perfectly, and is written so eloquently it just makes me want to give up and go "Yup. He said it. Good bye, writing." And walk away, suitcase in hand, never to return back to that little section of my brain.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is a giant office building. There's the math section; cubicles filled with "number-people" who dictate the answers to me. The writing section; where letters type furiously to try and spark some inspiration, and about a billion other sections of this office building, that seem to be running simultaneously. My brain can multitask better than I can. That whole breathing while blinking while typing thing? Go brain, go.

Ugh, I don't know what to say next. I'm all out of ideas for things to talk about, so I'll leave you with a poem I found on Poem Hunter.

'Summer Light -Thru the Trees
Summer Light - Spotted Me
Summer Light - Palest Gold
Summer Light - Bright and Bold

I Saw Summer Light Descend
Summer Light, Made Shadows Bend
Summer Light, On An Emerald Pond
I Reached Out… It Touched My Palm

Summer Light, It Fell Like Powder
Or a Floating Incandescent Feather
Came Down, Like A Sheer, White Swan
Summer Light – Lifted Wing-Like Arms

So Sunrays Slanted – Shone-Misty
Summer Light-Beams, Embraced Me
Warm, Wonderful Summer Light
Touch Me Tender, Solar- Might

Summer Light, When I Was Lost
Summer Light, Found Me Before Frost
Summer Light - None Else Looked For Me…
Summer Light Said, “I Always See…”'

By MoonBee Canady

Until tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Summer Days: Day 1

SCHOOL IS FINALLY OUT! That's right, world. School is out for summer. YES! Right now, it's one in the morning. I'm going to go to bed after I finish writing this, but technically it's the first day of summer... WOOT!

So, we had graduation. I didn't cry, which I was proud of, and I'm going to miss the seniors... There are a few in particular, but I won't mention any names, because I know I'll be forgetting people.

It's summer. And I plan on blogging every day. EVERY DAY. Hyper? No... But! I'm not just going to be blogging about my whole "OMG IT'S SUMMER" nonsense, and what I'm doing, there'll be movies to go see and rate, shows to run, books to read, and yes, sunburns to acquire. Speaking of which, the first sunburn of summer is healing nicely on top of my shoulders.

I made a list of books that I'm going to read. Want to hear the list? Or read it, rather?

Books To Read
-The Heretic Queen (Michelle Moran)
-Dragon Tears (Dean Koontz)
-The House of Thunder (Dean Koontz)
-The Darkest Evening of the Year (Dean Koontz)
-A Ring of Endless Light (Madeleine L'engle)
-The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
-The Second Summer of the Sisterhood (Ann Brashares)
-The Magician's Nephew (C.S. Lewis)
-Trisellion (Will Peterson)
-The Divide (Elizabeth Kay)
-A Bend in the Road (Nicholas Sparks)
-Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
-Eon (Alison Goodman)
-A Journey To The Center Of The Earth (Jules Verne)
-The Story of Forgetting (Stefan Merrill Block)
-Hoot (Carl Hiaasen)
-City of the Beasts (Isabel Allende)
-Kingdom of the Golden Dragon (Isabel Allende)
-Kabul Beauty School (Deborah Rodriguez)
-The Third Angel (Alice Hoffman)

As you can see, this isn't a miniscule list. In fact, I'd be completely pleased with reading about half of these books; granted I really enjoy them. I'm excited.

Things To Do
-Guys and Dolls
-42nd Street
-Go Bowling
-Have a Sweet 16 Party

I think that's all for now. I can't wait for summer to commence. TGIS? Thank God It's Summer.

YANTA hashbrowns.
(You Are Now Thinking About...)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Erm... Insert Topic Here, Please

I have nothing to say at the moment. I'm procrastinating. I guess that's saying something though... I don't want to go study! Two more days of school, two more days of school. AND THEN I'M FREE FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS!

French and World Studies tomorrow. Not looking forward to the first one, but then I can go up to my French teacher and say "Hello. Thank you for forever ruining this language. I'm never taking French again because of you, good riddance." And leave.

...Okay, so maybe I won't say that but I've definitely been thinking about it. I'll think it really loud. Maybe she'll be able to hear me.

Almost done. Almost done. God, summer is SO CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT. It's killing me. I have summer fever.

It sucks that we have finals like... the last few days of school. Honestly, life would be SO MUCH EASIER if we just had to take them earlier. No one can focus during these last few days, why should I be any different. Oh, parents. That's right. Fantastic.

Maybe I will go study... after a snack. And a nap. And some mindless cartoons. (Don't judge, I learn.) Eh. Procrastination at its finest.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm just not happy at the moment. Today was such a high, too. But then she has to come and ruin it; pretending she knows everything about everything. I have news for you; you don't. Frustration and anger only lead to bad thoughts. I'll try to repress them; no promises.

I wish that I could re-do this year. Honestly, I've been thinking about what I would have done differently, if I had to live my whole life over again. But then I think that I probably wouldn't have the friends that I have right now because of some world-ending paradox.

I would have tried harder academically; I kind of gave up after the end of first and third quarter. I don't know what it is, but something in me just snaps and I can't deal with school anymore. Like, right now, I'm procrastinating going to sleep because I don't want to wake up and have to go to school. At all. School; you suck. I wish I cared more about my grades. Like, I only care in certain classes; Algebra, World Studies, English. The rest can go jump off a bridge. But that's not how it's supposed to be.

I'm lost academically. I don't know where I want to be, and therefore I don't want to try to figure it out. Honest to God, I would much rather just sleep all day. But that's no way to live. Someone help me find myself. The self I used to be.

Don't say you're proud of me when I've lost my way.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Devices of Cruelty

I haven't written in quite a while... Not to say that I haven't been busy, but I could have made time, I could have not neglected this responsibility that I hold highly into consideration when I sit at a computer. The need to empty my thoughts will come to me eventually, and some time the urge is so strong, I just have to write.

Today, however is not one of those times. Not right now, at least. It is currently 6:30 AM on the briskly chilly morning of June 15th, 2010. I am wearing flannel black pajama pants and a gray shirt, and even though it is summer, my toes are freezing. I'm sure that this won't be the case when this gets published. I have a deep tendency to start writing when I don't really have time to, and then I save and go back and finish later, but by then my thoughts are so spread out across the canvas it's tough to determine one full thought from another.

Is there such a thing as a multi-thinker? I'm going to go out on a whim and assume that it would entail thinking of multiple things at the same time. I noticed it yesterday, when taking a World Studies test in class. I would begin one answer, and be writing it, knowing what I was writing, while thinking of the answer to another question. It was kind of weird, but maybe I was just more awake than usual, so that's why I noticed it.

Richter is back in full swing. I think this is when I'm the happiest; when it's Richter time. This school year didn't go exactly as planned... at all... Actually, Sophomore year sucked. There, I said it. Maybe it was the rush of finally being in high school that made being a Freshman so great, but Sophomore year definitely sucked.

As far as grades went, I didn't really accomplish my goal of "Straight A's!" When it would have been beneficial to me... But who cares about grades right? Colleges? Psh. I'm going to be on broadway. Yeah, take that dream and shove it in some dark remote corner of some desk where the paint is so far peeling that the layers underneath are pealing. It's never going to happen.

I don't know what happened during school; for some reason the competitive part of me that wanted to get such good grades, that used to get upset when I'd fail a test... It just got used to it and then it didn't care. I don't even get that sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach anymore when I fail, I don't cry, I don't get upset, nothing. I just laugh at it, and almost flaunt it a little bit. And that's really, really not good. I'm going to have to fix that, and almost re-train my body to strive for better grades. Maybe it's the act of studying that preps me, tells me that I don't have to fail, and then I get excited because, well, I'm not going to fail! But I don't think I've studied for a test in months. I've just given up hope. No one has done anything about it, and the tests that actually mater (Algebra, English, World Studies) Those are my best subjects. Woot.

I don't know. I think I need some motivation... A competitive game, perhaps? I bet I'll do better on this test than you will. That could work, that way I could bring out my competitive side in a more realistic and responsible way. Definitely a plus...

On a side note, it is now not 6:30 in the morning, it is 4:30 in the evening. No, it did not take me that long to write these moderately irrelevant words, I had to go to school. But now I'm home, and I need to finish a project. Oh, woe is me.


So, I read this book recently. Very good, highly recommended. It was called Nefertiti. I absolutely loved it. Honestly, I had forgotten my passion for everything "Mummy-like" since I last watched the movie. Maybe I'll watch it on Friday when I get home. Of course, that will be extremely late... Eh, who cares. Anyway, it was about this queen, and this sister, and poison, and the baby, and the general, and the monkeys dressed like soldiers and Aten, and OMGFANGIRLSQUEAL.

Except I am not a fan-girl, nor will I ever be. Just for the record.

But anyway, I think it's fair to be a fan of a book that you thoroughly enjoyed. (For the record, no one has enjoyed Twilight. They've pretended that they did so they could be popular, but I've never met a legitimate person who absolutely adores Twilight. Now, there are people who do that with Harry Potter, but that's completely normal, so I have nothing more to say on that subject.)

But I picked it up at Target like a month ago, and we got assigned an IRP (Independent Reading Project. We get like, three a year) for the fourth quarter, so I figured I'd just read that one. We had to write a 2-3 page plot summary, and do two creative projects. I made a travel brochure about the city of Amanara, the city they build in the book, and also a newspaper, that's kind of like a timeline; following some of the important events in like "newspaper" form... I think they're turning out really well. I finished the plot summary today in school, and now I only have to do the other half of the newsletter. Which I think is amazing, considering I did these projects in like... Three hours total, and they're pretty badass if I do say so myself.

I'd like to talk about ice cream now. I know, completely irrelevant, but I'm really in like a "food ranting" mood. Why the hell do they insist on keeping the ice cream frozen solid when it's at the stupid grocery store? It's like trying to digest a rock! IT DOESN'T WORK, GROCERY STORE ATTENDANTS. TRY SOMETHING ELSE. Raising the temperature of the freezer, perhaps? But seriously. It's very annoying. And I think we need a new microwave; because we put ice cream in there for ten seconds and then it's the perfect temperature. I'm pretty sure that it should be melted if you put it in for like... ten seconds... But that's just me. Microwaves, ice cream problems. I'm a mess.

My eyes are like closing on me; I'm so exhausted. Oh, did I mention Super Intense Writing Comp? That's what I like to call it. SIWC? You try and write as many words as you can over the summer. Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. My goal is around 100,000; but I might surpass that. *Technically* it started on the first of June, but I'm still in school, so this isn't exactly working out... I have around eleven thousand words at the moment though.

Is there anything else? I feel like there was something else... Maybe not. I have to go to Richter in a few hours. There's still spray paint on my hands. It. Won't. Come. Off.


Watch out for German Leprechauns; I hear they're vicious this time of year.