Saturday, May 1, 2010

Disney Movie Marathon - Aladdin

I'm watching a bunch, bunch, bunch of Disney movies. Lots. I'm just going to write down what I think of and my favorite quotes as I go.

First up? Aladdin.

Iago is definitely my favorite character in Aladdin. And seriously, how convenient is it that the "Diamond in the Ruff" happens to be in Agribah? Like, seriously? What if he was in Australia? Jafar looks weird. Not to mention, I love that the rich prince's horse has the exact same facial expressions as the prince. It cracks me up. This whole thing takes place in three days? No way. That's craaaaaaaaaazy. Aladdin and Jasmine fell in love in three days? Isn't that a little soon... It makes me laugh that the Sultan has this like, working model of Agribah. And why does the Sultan have a white beard, but black eyebrows? It makes no sense! Poor Iago, he serves as the comic relief of this whole movie. Ooh! Here's my favorite part of the movie! When Iago gets stuck in the door? Huh, Jasmine thinks that Aladdin is dead... I'm not surprised. That usually happens. SHE DIDN'T KNOW HIS NAME?! She just goes home with this guy, and almost kisses him? She doesn't know his name? What the hell. Dude, I want a pet monkey who'll get me out of jail. This guy is so scary. The old guy with the creepy teeth? So scary. Why would you ever trust this guy. Sure, I get that you love Jasmine, but... still... Those are some mad sketchy stairs going into the Cave of Wonder... Why does touching a jewel make the cave explode into like lava, but when Abu steps on the Carpet, nothing happens? Hah, I love how the carpet has mini Cave of Wonders in the four corners. What is Jafar doing while this whole scene with the mushroom mountain with the lamp on top if it is happening? Poor monkey. He got hypnotized by a giant monkey holding a jewel and killed everything. This is pretty trippy for Disney. The whole thing with the carpet going through the cave with the lava? It's like... CGI-ish. Wow. There is so much animal violence in this movie. The people in the beginning throw sheep around, Jafar just chucked a monkey down the hole, Iago gets smashed through wheels and into a wall... Like, really Disney? Do you hate animals that much? Hahaha, I love the Genie. He's like a stand-up comic with cosmic powers. This is the best song in the whole movie. Look! An elephant seat! I want one. Pretty. And I like the nice random palm tree oasis in the middle of the desert. Look! Genie is a sheep! Throw him! Second best song. The one where Ali is coming into Agribah? Iago gets run into another wall... A Whole New World. Such a beautiful song. There are like allusions to nearly every other Disney movie ever made in this movie. More animal violence? An elephant hanging from a tree? How come Genie can breathe underwater? And why can't he help Aladdin get out of the water? YES! It's the part with Iago pretending to be the flamingo. One of my favorites. And when Iago imitates being Jafar etc? It's so funny. Oh, Jafar. Always freeking messing up the Happily Ever After. I just realized... Iago has teeth. Parrots don't have teeth, do they? Hey, there's a reprise! Evil one... Why doesn't Jasmine have her own song? I don't think it snows in Agribah. Where are they? Now the elephant seat is a snake. Who would want to turn into a snake? He's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo creepy. Really? They fell in love in like... a day. I wonder if the Genie can have kids... That would be cool. Geniettes. Genie has a Goofy hat. Whole New World Reprise! THE END.

"I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!" - Iago
"You're only in trouble if you get caught. ...I'm in trouble." - Aladdin
"He's got a sword! You idiots, we've all got swords!" - Soldiers
"You'll die a street rat, and only your fleas will morn you."- Rich Prince (Ahkmed)
"And then, I stuff the crackers down his throat!" - Iago
"You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules." - Jafar
"But... you're so old!" - Sultan
"I can't believe it! I'm losing to a rug!" - Genie