Astray

I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm just not happy at the moment. Today was such a high, too. But then she has to come and ruin it; pretending she knows everything about everything. I have news for you; you don't. Frustration and anger only lead to bad thoughts. I'll try to repress them; no promises.

I wish that I could re-do this year. Honestly, I've been thinking about what I would have done differently, if I had to live my whole life over again. But then I think that I probably wouldn't have the friends that I have right now because of some world-ending paradox.

I would have tried harder academically; I kind of gave up after the end of first and third quarter. I don't know what it is, but something in me just snaps and I can't deal with school anymore. Like, right now, I'm procrastinating going to sleep because I don't want to wake up and have to go to school. At all. School; you suck. I wish I cared more about my grades. Like, I only care in certain classes; Algebra, World Studies, English. The rest can go jump off a bridge. But that's not how it's supposed to be.

I'm lost academically. I don't know where I want to be, and therefore I don't want to try to figure it out. Honest to God, I would much rather just sleep all day. But that's no way to live. Someone help me find myself. The self I used to be.

Don't say you're proud of me when I've lost my way.
-Siobhan