Silver

I used to think that I was your number one. The one you woke up in the morning, and the one who you fell asleep with at night. I thought that I was your first choice, that I was something special.

And now I know that I'll always be second. 

And it hurts, because you know that I have no one.

I'll always be the silver medalist.

And I know you asked me why I was sad, and I told you everything was fine. And I know that you know that I was lying. And I think you know that I know that you know I was lying. And to be honest, I wish you knew why I was lying.

I just wish I didn't have to tell you. 

For now I'll keep reading. Distracting myself. I'm glad that I have eight days of work in front of me, because every time I see you it makes me remember that I'll never win the gold.

And someday that'll be okay, but today it isn't. And it won't be tomorrow either.

I'm sorry you ruined our relationship, it was really the only one I had left.

...and the trees kept moving...they just wouldn't stop moving...so I laid down and made a snow angel.

-Siobhan

A Monarchy of Roses

Today was interesting. I ate too much, but that's irrelevant. I need new books... And I also need to unpack things. And clean my room. I'm going to make a list. I haven't done that in a while.

1. Finish unpacking boxes in my office.
2. Attack Mt. Laundry.
3. Update my iPod
4. Get my iPod fixed by the "Geniuses"
5. Face my fear of looking at my bank account balance
6. Deposit my last 3 paychecks
7. Get back on track
8. Go to a bookstore
9. Watch the Hairspray DVD
10. Block The Princess and The Pea
11. Block Hairspray
12. Learn my song.
13. Sleep more
14. Work more
15. Hang out with people more
16. Read more
17. Get a new phone
18. Call my Dad
19. Talk to my Mom
20. Debate applying for supervisor over and over until my head explodes

As you can see, I'm quite busy. Fantastic. Well, you know. That's the way it goes for me. I went on a spending spree yesterday, and now I'm like, happy that I spent the money, because I really needed the items, so it's not like... buyer's remorse, but like... I dunno. I just feel bad for having spent it, but I'm glad I did... MEH.

For he was a man and he was alone and these things had no importance to him.

-Siobhan

I Never Was A Good Geologist

Somehow, eating Taco Bell seals my fate. I'm going to vow never to eat Taco Bell again. Bennett and I just need to find a new place to go eat. I don't know where I currently stand with Jack, and even though today was kind of rough and I have a head ache and I don't feel good, I'm still doing pretty well. I think I'm going to go take a shower and do my hair prettily and stuff because I feel like it.

And I'm going to find a use for the white Crayola crayon.

-Siobhan

Nail Polish and Rubber Bands

This weekend went by really quickly. There are only seven minutes left, really. Tomorrow I have school, followed by rehearsal, followed by nothing. I don't think I want to do anything tomorrow. Maybe I'll go see a movie. I really want to see Safe House, but I also really want to see Star Wars Episode I in 3D.

At the moment, I'm getting ready to watch an Eddie Izzard special and go to sleep. Planning on getting up early tomorrow, even though it's already midnight.

I finished reading Ready Player One. One of my new favorite books. Honestly. I plan on writing a review tomorrow.

Also, I really want to paint my nails. I know it's stupid, but I'm so jealous of girls whose nails look really pretty when painted. On me it looks like a little kid painted their nails, they're so short, and I'm not practiced, so it just looks terrible. Maybe I'll get them professionally done or something. How much can a manicure cost, right?

I just searched, they cost quite a bit. Disappointed.

-Siobhan