Race Against Machines

A Monarchy of Roses

2012-02-15T17:45:00.001-08:00

Today was interesting. I ate too much, but that's irrelevant. I need new books... And I also need to unpack things. And clean my room. I'm going to make a list. I haven't done that in a while.

Finish unpacking boxes in my office.
Attack Mt. Laundry.
Update my iPod
Get my iPod fixed by the "Geniuses"
Face my fear of looking at my bank account balance
Deposit my last 3 paychecks
Get back on track
Go to a bookstore
Watch the Hairspray DVD
Block The Princess and The Pea
Block Hairspray
Learn my song.
Sleep more
Work more
Hang out with people more
Read more
Get a new phone
Call my Dad
Talk to my Mom
Debate applying for supervisor over and over until my head explodes

As you can see, I'm quite busy. Fantastic. Well, you know. That's the way it goes for me. I went on a spending spree yesterday, and now I'm like, happy that I spent the money, because I really needed the items, so it's not like... buyer's remorse, but like... I dunno. I just feel bad for having spent it, but I'm glad I did... MEH.

For he was a man and he was alone and these things had no importance to him.

-Siobhan

I Never Was A Good Geologist

2012-02-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

Somehow, eating Taco Bell seals my fate. I'm going to vow never to eat Taco Bell again. Bennett and I just need to find a new place to go eat. I don't know where I currently stand with Jack, and even though today was kind of rough and I have a head ache and I don't feel good, I'm still doing pretty well. I think I'm going to go take a shower and do my hair prettily and stuff because I feel like it.

And I'm going to find a use for the white Crayola crayon.

-Siobhan

Nail Polish and Rubber Bands

2012-02-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

This weekend went by really quickly. There are only seven minutes left, really. Tomorrow I have school, followed by rehearsal, followed by nothing. I don't think I want to do anything tomorrow. Maybe I'll go see a movie. I really want to see Safe House, but I also really want to see Star Wars Episode I in 3D.

At the moment, I'm getting ready to watch an Eddie Izzard special and go to sleep. Planning on getting up early tomorrow, even though it's already midnight.

I finished reading Ready Player One. One of my new favorite books. Honestly. I plan on writing a review tomorrow.

Also, I really want to paint my nails. I know it's stupid, but I'm so jealous of girls whose nails look really pretty when painted. On me it looks like a little kid painted their nails, they're so short, and I'm not practiced, so it just looks terrible. Maybe I'll get them professionally done or something. How much can a manicure cost, right?

I just searched, they cost quite a bit. Disappointed.

-Siobhan

Paradox is Hierarchy

2012-02-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

This past month and a half has been really rough. I'm not quite sure why, but I've just been feeling really lonely, and it's kind of starting to piss me off. I really hate feeling like this.

But today I went to a castle. A legitimate castle, with the exception of the fact that it's broken and dilapidated. But it was beautiful, and I loved it, and I feel so much better now and I don't know why.

So I'm going to write a poem about castles, and then write a poem for class, and then go to sleep and dream about castles that aren't so broken, and that currently serve a purpose.

Isn't it weird to think about how people used to live in castles? This one, for example, had electrical outlets. Which was probably the coolest thing I noticed. That means it's recent, and that's a damn beautiful castle.

Castles were built to be broken down.

-Siobhan

MOFFAT

2011-08-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

I think I'm in love with Moffat. Like, seriously. His writing in each episode he does. Oh. I just love it. He keeps the audience on his toes, and even though most of his episodes are the ones that propel the plot forward, instead of being the ones with the stupid monsters, I'm really glad when it's an episode of his. That last episode.

Just everything about it. His comedic timing. His sense of who the characters are. Just amazing. I can't like, describe it.

And I'm pretty sure that The Doctor told River his name in that last ep. When do we get to find out what his name is?

Spoilers.

-Siobhan

The Dumpster Is Here!

2011-08-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hip-Hip Hooray!

It's about time, too. I mean. We're moving in like... 10 days. And we have all this crap that we're throwing out in bags. But right now the bags are just sitting around the house. It's time to throw them out!

Bye bye, bags!

Bye bye, house!

It's like it officially means we're moving. Yus.

-Siobhan

Accio Pillow

2011-08-23T19:33:00.001-07:00

I've got some kind of mental block against doing my summer work right now. Let me break it down for you:

Finish reading "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking
Read "Out of the Dust" by Karen Hesse
Keep a journal about reading the first
Write five diary entries from the character's point of view for the second book as well as Crank by Ellen Hopkins.
Answer questions about "Politics and the English Language", "Notes on Punctuation" and "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"
AP Calc packet

Not to mention the fact that we're moving (surprise, surprise) so we need to pack. Hurray. So far we've only packed the dining room and the kitchen up. I just wish that we didn't have so little time to pack... But whatever.

I'm exhausted. I think I just need to go to bed, but with all of this work to do and only about a week to do it, I don't think that I'll be asleep before midnight. Even though I really want to be asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

This whole earthquake thing today was so stupid. Like, come on. I get that it was a big deal in Virginia, and places where there was some damage. But Danbury? OoOoO, your lawn chair fell over. Come on, Danbury. This is why no one likes us.

Goodnight. Happy Summer.

-Siobhan

Jesus, Take the Wheel! ...Screw That, Just Do All of My Homework and Take My Finals?

2011-06-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

Finals start tomorrow. I shouldn't be writing this, I should be getting to work, butttttttt, that's not happening. I need fifteen minutes. I just. I need composure, and the best way I can think of doing that is by writing, even if it's about why I'm stressed in the first place.

School was fine, seeing as it's like the day before finals in half of my classes. I'm just exhausted. Here's what I need to do for school by Friday:

Project for Web Design
American Studies Questions
American Studies Questions (different set)
American Studies prep for assignment due next week
Madrigals Portfolio for Thursday
Homeworks 3, 4, 5, 7 as well as an 8.5 by 11 piece of paper as a notecard for my final.
Murder Mystery for Speech Arts as well as costumes, fedora and aviators
Scene for Acting, as well as props etc.
Song project for AP by Thursday
Diagnose a Star project for AP by Thursday

Not to mention the fact that I have to be at work every day before 6:30. I just. I don't know how I'm going to be able to do everything that I need to do by Friday. I can't stay awake right now, and I have to do a majority of that stuff for tomorrow. For tomorrow I'm going to do

Both sets of American Studies questions
Math card
Murder Mystery for Speech Arts
Acting Final

I honestly don't think I can handle that much, but that's the absolute minimum that I can do. Absolute. I'm so screwed for this week, like seriously. This is the hardest week ever, stress wise. I'm about to go absolutely nuts. I'm on the verge of a breakdown, but it'll all be over after school is done.

I just wish that I'd started sooner with studying. Especially for math. Thanks for a great year Dr. Reese.

Keep Calm and Carry On

-Siobhan

Document 1

2011-05-27T16:59:00.001-07:00

This line is devoid of all things necessary or interesting.

That's what most of my documents currently look like. Now, to some people it's easy to come up with story topics. Did JRR Tolkien look at a tree branch and his wedding ring and think "Gee, I could write a story about a ring with evil powers and some Hobbits who have to bring it to a place called Mordor, and maybe I'll throw some giant trees called Ents in just for the hell of it." I suppose we'll never know.

Now, obviously I'm oversimplifying the amazingness that is Lord of the Rings, but then again, maybe I'm not. Let's go delve fairly deep into some books, shall we?

Eragon:
I loved this book for a really long time. The idea of giant dragons and evil villains called Shades and eleves and stuff is really cool. But isn't the idea of a simple boy who works on a farm quite cliche?

What I'm saying is it's too obvious. You know what's going to happen from the moment you open the book. You know that the poor misunderstood boy will find the poor little dragon, and Brom will die and Murtagh will be emo forever and there's nothing you can do about it.

I can't deal with the idea of writing something like that. That's why John Green is so amazing. I don't know how he does it. He just writes about things that are important to him, and at the same time, are so different that you can't help but applaud him for his work.

But I envy him so much. Not his passion, because I'm at my happiest when I'm reading or writing. That being said, I went to the contact page of his website, where upon I read the following statement: "In a related story that may make me seem like a complete asshat, I do not respond to emails."

Now, having every ounce of my writing spirit crushed, I quickly backspaced the carefully worded e-mail I'd been formulating. It went something like: "Dear John Green. I appreciate everything you do and everything you write, your stories are so inspirational, but I have to ask: how do you get over the hump of writer's block? Do you have any magical wizardly secrets to ease my aching brain and help me get the jump start I need to get my brain back into writers mode?"

But that sounds pushy. The actual e-mail contained more fluff and praise. However, having backspaced the entire thing, I can't show you.

So now I'm just sitting here, watching the cursor blink on my little Document 1, because I don't know what to write next. I don't know how to come up with an idea for a story. There are times when my brain is overflowing with ideas. There's a fantastic quote from a book I started reading but never got past the first page, mostly because I loved this quote, which says:

"It's a misery peculiar to would-be writers. Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts; historical, social, climatic, culinary, that will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. The descriptions burst with colour, contrast and telling detail. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story, regardless of whether the history or the food is right. Your story is emotionally dead, that's the crux of it. The discovery is something soul-destroying, I tell you. It leaves you with an aching hunger."
- Yann Martel in his Author's Note at the beginning of Life of Pi.

There is nothing you can do about it. I know the feeling so well. I think this is the reason I stopped reading this book, to be honest. I felt so low about myself and my writing after reading what he had been able to print, in a book, no less, and I just felt deflated. I haven't been able to write properly ever since. And this was months ago.

So Document 1 stays as is for the moment, cold, bare, with only the company of the cursor to keep it from feeling too alone. And I too sit here, alone, void of thoughts or dreams of future stories, just wishing that one would come my way, with enough spark that I could say "That's it." and keep writing it until it was finished. But that's a story for another writer. Not this one, I'm afraid.

-Siobhan

The Cake Is A Lie

2011-04-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

Well, according to Portal. Have you ever played Portal? It's actually a really, really cool game. I highly recommend it. I'll go into the physics of it a bit, actually, because I find them very interesting.

The game itself is from the first-person POV, and you control using the standard (wasd to move, mouse for portals, e to pick up, r to reload). You're the protagonist, Chell, who wakes up from a very, very long sleep and finds that she is in the Aperature Science Enrichment Center, where she is going to be "tested". So you go through nineteen tests, where you use your handy Portal gun. Here's how the gun works.

This was the best explanation I could find in picture form, though the colors are slightly off. They're blue and orange, really. Anyway, you go in one Portal, you come out the other one. It doesn't matter which one you go in, because you'll always come out the other portal. There's also stuff about speed and motion not being lost while in the portal (IE: If you put one on the ceiling, and one on the floor under it and jump in, you'll keep falling and gaining speed.) as well as being able to fling yourself using this to get to high ledges (See 3A/3B above).

So, the actual science behind the game is fairly cool, but then there's this whole thing about how "When you finish the test, there will be cake." However, GLaDOS (which stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System), who has guided Chell through all test chambers with the promise of cake and grief counseling has become increasingly sinister, to the point where she tries to burn Chell at 4000 degrees. Using her nifty Portal gun, Chell escapes and manages to destroy four personality cores, along the way having to kill her only friend, Companion Cube. Of course, she also find out that the cake is a lie.

And now the game has come out with a sequel! I'm not going to go into details about it (partially because I don't know many since it's not finished downloading on Steam), so you can see for yourself what the game is all about. There are countless playthroughs on YouTube, and if you'd like to be my friend and play the Co-Op mode with me on Steam, my username is siobhann23.

Have a nice day.

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-Siobhan

Believe Me, I'm Still Alive.

2011-04-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

I bought Portal today and started playing it, getting to about Chamber 16 before I decided to take a break. Mind you, that only took two hours, which isn't that bad, considering how long most people spend online gaming. I honestly spend much, much less time. Trust me. Hooray.

What else happened today? Um... Made some AP Psychology cards, about to make some more. Had some ice cream. Went to the doctor with Mother. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. I'm just going to Psych it up, I guess. Then I'll go to sleep.

Oh, and Joe Strummer is AMAZING. Just saying. I like, fell asleep to his voice last night. And I probably will again today, only because it's so soothing.

I'll just keep on going until I run out of cake.
-Siobhan

Pendent Keychains

2011-04-19T19:24:00.001-07:00

God, almighty, why am I such a girl sometimes? I mean, obviously I know why I'm a girl phsyically, but like, I don't know. I'm usually not fond of all the emotional crap that goes along with being a girl. So I usually just ignore it. But tonight, ewwwww. Just stay away from me.

Whatever. I think I'm all emotional because it's Spring Break, so I'm like happyexcitedgratefultiredoverwhelmedexhaustedandjustoverallhappy.

So yeah. Have a happy rest of spring break, and I hope you had a fantastic April 19th, 2011 because it's the only one that you will ever have.

-Siobhan

Glorious

2011-04-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, seems I haven't been on here in quite a while. It's a bit nerve wracking, isn't it? Trying to put all of your thoughts into perfect stanzas? I mean, I don't have followers on blogger, so it really doesn't matter what I say on here, but the fact that there are a few people who do follow me, if not on blogger, than off blogger in their own happy hearts and minds, give me a lot of restrictions, almost.

And I'm not really the kind of person who likes to deal with restrictions.

Spring break starts after next week, and I feel like this year is going by so, so, so super quickly. I'm a bit behind in school at the moment, but nothing that can't be fixed with a weekend entirely devoted to study. I really think that I need to focus on school, the play, and very little else at the moment. I mean, of course there's the ridiculous amounts of homework that I get every night, the fact that I'm in rehearsal until around seven, and then I get home.

So, right now, I'm sitting. On my bed. With my laptop. And I'm exhausted, but I still feel obligated to write down at least something. I feel quite guilty, and I know that I've had this blog for almost two whole years, but because of that I almost feel like you need to write something to prove it to myself, you know?

God, I'm on comma over-load right now... It's really quite awful. I think that all of my Grammar Nazi-ness goes to supernova when I'm overtired.

So this post had nothing to do with anything, and I feel like I've just wasted a solid fifteen minutes typing up nothing. But even nothing is something, right? I mean, isn't that how people should stay positive: by saying that even nothing is something? Of course, I don't think that works the same way for hobos... But no one is asking them at the moment, because this is the blog of a teenage girl with stupid teenage friends and a teenage life.

Yeah.
-Siobhan

Mailbox Patience

2011-02-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever patiently waited outside your mailbox for something? Maybe you've done this with your report card, or a college acceptance letter. But with a book? I have crazy obsessions with books, as we all know, and Across The Universe by Beth Revis is no exception. I'm so, so happy that it finally came.

Actually, I'm in a good mood in general. I mean, sure: I'm sick, and life is sucking at the moment, but I'm proud of myself because I'm staying on top of all of it. And to be honest, I'm learning stuff too. But it is late right now, and that's not a good thing, because four thirty comes very, very early. Hoorah.

Mailbox patience will always pay off.
-Siobhan

That Crappy, Crappy Feeling

2011-01-21T19:40:00.000-08:00

If you're a writer, you've felt this way. I know I feel this way about 75% of the time: when you want to write, but can't find the right words to say what you want to say without rambling on and sounding like an idiot, kind of like what I'm doing now? Yeah... that feeling. It's baffling how degraded I feel right now, and I don't even know why.

Honestly, there wasn't an event or anything that put me in a sorrow-full mood today. Actually, in retrospect to everything that went on the past week, today was pretty damn good.

So why was I so upset all day? Why do I not feel like sleeping? And why have I just been writing, and writing, and writing, but not saying anything? Why is it so frustrating to try and make a point, and lose track of what you're saying, then contradict yourself seven times and end up back where you started?

UGH.

Maybe I just need to work on one of my novels. Get the creative juices flowing again, you know?

That could be what I need. Or maybe I just need to rant rant rant rant rant about everything that's happening, and why I'm sad and jealous and confused and stressed and I just want to write about these things. Is it possible to rant about why you want to rant? Either way, today sucked for no reason.

Sometimes you just have a really bad day.
-Siobhan

Have You Ever Thrown A Fistful Of Glitter In The Air?

2011-01-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

No? Neither have I, it's okay.

My ears just bled due to the loudness of the AOL man telling me that I have mail. Is it necessary to shout, mail man? Haha, that's funny... because it's e-mail... and he's a man.

Anyway, I'm in such an awkward mood today... It's almost like my fingers are just in the mood for typing. Too bad it's like, after ten on a Monday night. Haha, that sucks. Maybe there'll be no school tomorrow. That'd be fantastic! And, well, it'd be fun to stay in my pajamas all day again.

They're purple with white snowflakes. You're jealous. See that, I just read your mind.

But I had a huge project that's due tomorrow, and I FINISHED IT. I know, I know, be impressed. Seriously, thank you for the applause, but it's really unnecessary. And I got a new phone, finally! That's something too!

Now I can obsessively update twitter from my thumbs! Hooray! Oh, god. I'm turning into one of those people. You know the kind that just go

TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET
TWEET

Haha, well, not literally. Usually they say something like "Zomg! Jersey Shore!"

Honestly, I don't get it. What's fantastic about Jersey Shore? It just baffles me...

But whatever...

Let's see if I can sleep in this weird mood.
-Siobhan

Snow Day Number Two!

2011-01-11T15:37:00.001-08:00

Well, technically the snow day is tomorrow, but it's already confirmed for where I go to school, and where my Mom works as a teacher, so... I can celebrate. Honestly, tomorrow is the day where I'm going to do all of my homework. All of it. I'm going to do all of the math work I need to finish, as well as write an essay for first period, write notes about car production during the 1920's, build a facebook page for characters in The Great Gatsby, write a response to an article from The New York Times, memorize a monologue and work on all of my lines for the play. I'm going to be a bit tired on Thursday, but... that's okay.

In addition to that, I've had rehearsal everyday this week so far, granted that's only two days, but... I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to go to bed early after I chill on the Wii Fit.

Enjoi
-Siobhan

Happy Snow Day!

2011-01-07T11:06:00.000-08:00

That's right! First snow day of 2011, and what a fine one it is. There's a solid inch at the moment, and I'm sitting at home and relaxing a little bit. Right now Jake and I are playing the Wii Fit, and it's quite amusing, to say the least.

He's not very good at it...

But neither am I...
-Siobhan

I'm More Of An Atari

2011-01-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

So, is it bad that I was all excited that we wouldn't have rehearsal tomorrow, because I'd be able to get all my homework done? I was counting on that. And now there's rehearsal tomorrow, and I won't be able to do anything.

I'm having one of those anxiety attacks that people joke about... They're definitely real.

Off to write an essay, I s'pose.
-Siobhan

We're Makin' Waffles

2011-01-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

It's the second day of the new year. I'm just dropping in to say hello. Let's see how many days this year I can write on here. Last year it was 68 total. I hope I can do more than that... That's awful.

Here's to New Years Resolutions? I haven't made any yet...

New year, same problems.
-Siobhan

Hello 2011!

2011-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2011!

I'm starting off this year by dwelling on the past. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter, quite honestly... I have to make a baby book for my AP Psychology class. I really don't like that class. Hopefully it'll get better. I think it's just the shock of how much work this class really is. Right now I'm procrastinating though... Way to start off 2011, Siobhan.

But honestly, people always say that a new year means a new start. No it doesn't. People are still going to remember all the stuff you did last week. Your reputation still exists.

I just don't understand...
-Siobhan

Goodbye, 2010

2010-12-31T10:24:00.000-08:00

2010. It ends tonight. Today is the last day of the year, officially. But really, it doesn't feel all that different from any other day... ever. Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Tomorrow I'll be doing so much homework I can barely stay awake. I'll be fitting a vacations worth of homework into two days. Tomorrow won't be anything special, and to be honest, today isn't either.

Until I got a happy little event notification on facebook, I was blissfully unaware that tonight was New Years Eve... I thought that it was days away, but alas, I was wrong. Tonight is the last day of the year. I'll be at a party, like most people, watching the new year come as the ball drops in New York City. Want to know something cool? It's already tomorrow in Australia. The United States and Australia are in two different years at the moment. That's pretty cool.

But that got me thinking about a lot of things concerning time. According to Doctor Who, "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff." Which makes me wonder: If you were to have a baby in Australia at exactly midnight, and immediately take off on a flight towards JFK Airport in New York City with your new baby, wouldn't you be technically going back and putting your child in an alternate time? Twelve hours later, sitting in JFK airport you would turn to your child and say to them, "Now it's your birthday." How old would your child be considered?

Or how about this one: People talk about 2012 being catastrophic. "Oh no! The world is going to end!" and all of that crap. But which time zone are we talking about? If we're talking about December 21st, 2012 in Australia, that means it'll still be December 20th, 2012 in New York City. Well, that sucks, because then all the happy little New Yorkers got cheated out of a bit of life, didn't they?

However, if this is the case, is it correct to assume that people in Australia have been living for longer than we have? Technically, a child born at midnight on December 31st in Australia and a child born at midnight on December 31st in New York City would be born twelve hours apart. Now, relatively speaking, this isn't a great difference. But their birth certificates would read the same time, even if they were from two different locations.

Now let's think about hovercrafts. If one were in a hovercraft, hovering around, zooming to and fro, that would be awesome, would it not? However, would the hovercraft in question be crippled by the effects of our atmosphere? If it would, the hovercraft would move as the earth did, both around the sun and on the earth's axis. But, if the hovercraft was a true hovercraft, and if someone were to leave it sitting in his backyard for a full year, the hovercraft would seem to slowly move, and would at one point leave our atmosphere all together. That being said, 365 days later it would be back where it was.

See how much fun science can be? Hooray! I kind of wish that I was taking a science class this year. But more than that, I wish that my science teacher would be like Professor Zachary from Strange Days at Blake Holsey High. I just watched all of the series online (I used to watch it on Discovery Kids back in middle school, but I never finished it or found out what happened... I was curious.) I wish that Danbury High School was like that... It'd be so fantastic. Sure there'd be the occasional worm hole splurge, and the danger of using something from Pearadyme Industries, but... It's all in good fun, correct?

Well, I'm going to a New Years Eve party now. I'm quite happy to put this year behind me, but I'll list out my goals and all that schtuff tomorrow. After my homework, of course...

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-Siobhan

I'm Off To Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance.

2010-12-06T14:23:00.001-08:00

I have a slight obsession with things being perfect, like... perfectly perfect. PENCILS, WHY AREN'T YOU IN RAINBOW ORDER!!!???!!!??? Etc. Like, I don't understand why when you open a Crayola box, all of the colors are popping up in opposite corners of the freaking globe... You'd think, that the Crayola people would be all: "Of course we'll put them in rainbow order. That makes perfect sense!" But... again, that makes too much sense... Look:

Now, does that look like rainbow order to me? Because last time I checked, it went ROY G BIV, not orange, green, purple, another orange, yellow. But maybe I'm wrong, and the rainbow is screwed up like the rest of the world out there.

Right now I should be reading some of The Great Gatsby, but I find it more entertaining to be writing on my blog and schtuff. Also, I don't wanna... However, I could really go for a can of seltzer right now.

Which reminds me: Whenever I go out to like, lunch or something then I go order my drink, I'll be like "Can I have a club soda." and they just stare at me, like I'm some kind of Benjamin Button old person, I just happen to have the body of a sixteen year old. I like the taste of the bubbles in soda, just without all the crappy sugary crap that rots your teeth and makes you fat. Or something like that...

So, I've been watching this youtuber named Tobuscus. My friend Grace found him when we were looking at the Harry Potter trailer, and he does like literal trailers and stuff. He's absolutely hilarious. Pretty much everything that I love in comedy can be found on his channel. He's so blunt, and he does like, different voices and stuff. Jeese, he's funny.

And now it's time for some late night TV and club soda, and then off to bed with a good old book.

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
-Siobhan

Oh I Love Birds!

2010-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Actually, I really don't. Anyone who knows me well... at all knows that I have like, the worst phobia of birds ever. It's called "Ornithophobia". It's actually really bad. I can see like, pictures of birds, but even videos creep me out, and if I actually see one, forget about it. I like, tense up. But that point aside, I wanted to tell everyone about the most amazing day I had yesterday, and then the epic dream that I had last night, not to mention the crazy amounts of... craziness that went along with the past little while.

So, yesterday was supposed to go like this: Go see Harry Potter 7a with one of my bestest friends in the whole world, Grace, and then I was supposed to have lunch with her and then go home and change and go to my friend Bella's party. Well, I feel bad, but I wasn't feeling all that great, and I wasn't in the mood to go to a party, really. Don't get me wrong, I love Bella to death, and if was her birthday, I would have gone, but... it wasn't her birthday. So I saw 7a, and then Grace and I walked to Applebees. Well, the waiter didn't like us apparently, because he decided to take his sweet time taking our drink order, and then our regular order. I'll call him Spinny Waiter Man, because he kept walking past us and spinning the menus on his finger, like some kind of elitest basketball player. I bet he sucks at basketball. He definitely sucked at waiting.

So once he finally decided to pay our table a visit, we ordered, and the food came pretty quickly. We then went back to Grace's house, where we watched part of the Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family; you know, the one where they add in all the deleted scenes? I freaking love Harry Potter weekends. In addition I played some Call of Duty against her little brother, who liked to like, slice my throat... What a sweetheart.

Then, the coolest thing happened: Grace's mom wanted Grace to have a party, and Grace was like "Eh, Mom... You know how I hate having parties." and I offered to have the party at their house, because Grace's mom wanted to plan it and schtuff. So I'm having a party! Wahoo!

Well, by the time I was able to go home, it was like, close to nine, and my mom didn't want to come get me, so I just stayed there. It was nice in the basement, and I slept really, really well.

And that was when I had the most epic dream ever. It took place in Grace's house, and it was during a party, though I don't think it was my party... but whatever. I was in a room that is really the bathroom, but in my dream it was some random sitting area, and some girl that I don't like was talking, so I wasn't paying attention, and I was looking out the window. And that's when I saw a giant purple spaceship. Like, a huge freaking spaceship! You know in that Spyro game, where they have the flying saucers and the little bubble type things in the middle where the aliens live? Yeah, it was one of those, and it was purple.

So, I was like "Oh my god. Did anyone else just see that giant purple space ship?" And they're all like "Yeah, no big deal." But, obviously I thought it was a big deal, because I looked outside and there were hundreds of them, like that movie called like Skyline or something with the giant blue spaceships and the human vacuums? Yeah, it was like that, except they were just sitting there... all purple.

I then went downstairs, and my friends Chris and Louis were downstairs playing Call of Duty. I was like "Oh my God, guys, there's like, a hundred purple space ships outside taking over the planet." And they were like "Hold on, Siobhan, we're a little busy right now." And I was like "Guys, let's have some perspective... Giant. Purple. Spaceships." But they didn't really care.

So then my Mom came to pick me up and she was like "Come on, Siobhan, we packed up everything we own and we're going to Canada." And I was like "Aren't there purple space ships there too?" And she said no, because the Canadians love everyone, and the US always pokes into places where they shouldn't, including other universes. Then we had a random dance break, where the aim was to make a friend of mine jealous, because it's quite amusing when he's jealous.

Anyway, then there was something about trying to find my shoes and my friend Joe wearing them, and that was it!

Quite the exciting dream, wouldn't you say? Now I have to go write a memoir about Pokemon yellow. It's going to be a good one.

DFTBA!
-Siobhan

Skahoooool

2010-11-17T03:17:00.000-08:00

School is going to be so boring today. Can I just not go? ...Mother dearest doesn't seem to think so. I have a project due first period, then second period we're getting assigned a project, we're getting our report cards, third period i work on the project for American Studies, fourth I have mads, fifth I have a quiz, sixth I'm dancing, seventh I can't talk about and eighth we're watching Rain Man. I'm going to be busy all day. And there's no lunch in there... I'm always so hungry at the end of the day.

Oh well. Another day, another dollar?
More like another nickel.
-Siobhan

Morphemes of Another

2010-10-10T17:45:00.000-07:00

I took a bunch of songs (over a hundred, at least) took lyrics from each to make a 1000 word free-write out of them. I'm really proud of the way it turned out.

***

I came to dance, and life's too short for me to stop. When all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today, throw out your cares and fly. Wanna go for a ride? We're burning down the highway skyline on the back of a hurricane. I know I’ll grow up someday, but it’s 2 AM. And only your love remains. Are you nervous? Spending your days away in space, thicker than air? Nervous hands and anxious smiles, I can feel you breathing. The smell of you in every single dream I dream. And when shoelaces are the ties that bind us, is at any wonder why you and I are anything but ordinary? You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not. And if your heart stops beating, I’ll be here wondering “Did you get what you deserve?” Keep your feet on the ground, smile big for everyone. Even when you know what they’ve done. I’m steppin’ on leprechauns wearing a brown polyester shirt, before we packed our bags and left all this behind us in the dust. But now I think you’ve gone and had your way. And the world is turning inside out, I’m floating around in ecstasy, but don’t stop me now. The stars that pierce the sky, jealousy, turning saints into the sea. So tell me, does she look at you the way I do? Our lives are changing lanes, you ran me off the road. Lie, lie to my face. Tell me it ain’t nothing. That’s what I wanna hear. Take the lie to the grave. That’s what an old friend told me. Look what it did for him. Mistakes become regrets. I’ve learned to love abuse. So did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar? And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? I don’t wanna waste my time, become another casualty of society. I’ll never fall in line, become another victim of your conformity. Let’s paint the town, we’ll shut it down. Put on your pretty lies, you’re in the city of wonder. Ain’t gon’ play nice, watch out you might just go under. Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered. So if you must falter be wise. Music comes on, people start to dance. You’re on a mission and you’re wishin’ someone could cure your lonely condition. The rotten sore on the face of mother earth gets bigger. I walk to the corner, to the rubble that used to be a library, line up to the mind cemetery now. Then again incidentally, if you’re that way inclined. Perfume came naturally from Paris, for cars I can’t care less, fastidious and precise. So why am I so afraid? Then you said my name. I tell you what I’m gonna do. You said you’d take me away, and take me along with you boy we’re on our way. But I’ve kept my heart under control, but lately all this time is takin’ it’s toll. I can’t hold back what’s deep in my soul. I love you and you’ll just have to know. So relax, take it easy. Because there is nothing that we can do. It’s like you’re a drug. It’s like you’re a demon I can’t face down. IT’s like I’m stuck. And I know I love you, and you have all the power. And I know the only the company I seek is misery all the time. I’m just a girl with a crush on you. Seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game. Hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race. I’m so pleased to be with you, look around see what you do? Everybody smiles at you. I’ve got a feeling that I don’t belong, I’ve got a feeling that I shouldn’t be here with you. I can’t stand another single day. I’ve got to get away. I’m stuck in the middle of what you are and what you want. What you want is nothing like who I am. No one else is like me, which means they can’t be trusted. I need some sleep… I can’t go on like this. I tried counting sheep, but there’s one I always miss. Everyone says I’m getting down too low, everyone says, I just gotta let it go. Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game. It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and breathe. But it’s too cliché, I won’t say I’m in love. If there’s a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I’ve already won that. That’s ancient history, been there, done that. I can kill with a smile, I can wound with my eyes. I can ruin your faith with my casual lies. I can bring out the best and the worst you can be. I can feel your heart beat but I know you well enough not to speak. There’s things that I have done, you never, should ever know. And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone forever now. Nervous and shy, for the moment we will come alive tonight. I’m calling out your name. Your face is everywhere. I’m reaching out to you to find that you’re not there. I wake up every night, to see the state I’m in. It’s like an endless part, I never seem to win. Because I feel like I’m inside out, you’ve got me upside down. So please stop sounding thirteen again, you know how much I hate this conversation. Why can’t you put it on the shelf? Gathering words the way I’m gathering all of your excuses, and throwing them all away. I can see the direction this is going in so, I’ve been here before. It’s no fun, because I know the only resolution is not in your favor. Everybody’s running, come back, now that everything is broken. It’s time to pick up the slack. Just save me from what the world has become as it comes crashing, with you and me with it, everybody’s running.

-Siobhan

101010

2010-10-10T05:38:00.000-07:00

Today is 10/10/10. No, it's not 10:10. I't s 8:39. I'm awake because I want to be, and because right now is when the sun starts to reseed from being obnoxious. There are birds chilling out in the trees outside of my house, and they're quite obnoxious.

Anyway, I organized my life yesterday, meaning that I spent the better part of three hours organizing my binder and getting only half of my homework done, leaving myself with a cute little pile to do today. Not only that, but I have to free-write today (and everyday) and I have to get everything set up for the Tri-M Induction ceremony which is Tuesday night. I still have no idea what I'm supposed to say, I remember practically sleeping through last years.

So, I'll get all of that done soon and then I'll have the rest of today to write and read. I love the weekend.

Poma saporis.

-Siobhan

Quintessence

2010-10-09T05:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like I owe it to everyone to have a post with some real substance to it. Okay, maybe not to everyone, but to myself at least. Lately I've been kind of rambling on and on and on about what it'd be like to do this, or what TV show I'm watching. And how boring is that? Very boring in my opinion...

For starters, I'd just like to say that I'm anticipating NaNoWriMo greatly this year. I already have my plotline planned (For the most part. It's in my head, at least. I just need to write it down.) and I can't wait to get started. I have four of the characters named, but names are much easier than personalities. Daisy's personality is really hard to put on paper... She's like. Independent, but she knows she's right, and she'll do whatever she can to try and fix her mistakes.

I've been looking into chapter length, and with my 5000 word-a-day goal for November, It seems like I'll be having extra words. Which means that I'm going to need another plotline if I'm going to get to my 150K word goal. But maybe I shouldn't be aiming so high. I mean, I know for a fact that I need a bit under 1700 words a day to make it to 50000. And I've never done that, even though I can successfully write 1000 words in under twenty minutes. But I feel like aiming for something so high will just disappoint me further, especially when I haven't won NaNoWriMo before. But I'll look into extra plotlines anyway. Hopefully I'll have the first 50000 words written within ten days, but that seems unlikely.

I also need to consider the fact that I'll be trying to write a novel. Sure, writing is easy when you know what you're talking about. But half the time I have no idea where a chapter is going when I go to start it. Daisy jumps in the car. Where's she going, Siobhan? Oh, heck. I don't know... But she should probably get there pretty quick, otherwise a nuclear bomb might end up going off. Or something along those lines... Probably less dramatic than that.

I'm so worried that I'll have lost my writing focus by the time November comes. I have that problem a lot. Right now, I'm super pumped for NaNo. There's only twenty-two days left of planning, and then I jump right into that ridiculous literary abandon for thirty days. Ah! But what happens if I lose my moxie? If I lose that drive that's been pushing me to write a few thousand words a day for the past few days?

I suppose I shouldn't worry too much. If I like my plotline (And I really do. I mean, it's a tad bit cliche, but aren't all plotlines cliche? I feel like as long as I'm putting my heart into it, and as long as I know where I want to go with the story (Still working on that, by the way) than it'll be fine.) enough, than I should be able to just power through fifty thousand words like it was sitting on a beach drinking a pineapple and strawberry smoothie. Which sounds excellent right now.

So, I've got my plot. I've got my drive. What else do I need? Oh... the actual words themselves. You might be saying that it's super easy for me to write, and most of the time it is. I'm a highly verbose person. But every once in a while I just stare at the page for ever... and ever... and no words come to mind, and I'm still staring, and then my eye starts to twitch, and I start to sweat, and then... and then... I just close out of the program and go off to do something else.

But not this time. Not this November. This November I will be focusing. If it takes me 20 minutes to write 1000 words, than it should take me an hour and twenty minutes to write five thousand words. that's eighty minutes. Eighty minutes equals five thousand words. That'd be eight hundred minutes spent writing during the month of November. That's pretty cool. This is the reason why I love math.

Speaking of math, I have quite a bit of math homework which I need to get done this weekend. I don't mind, I've got quite a bit of time. There's nothing that I need to do this weekend except for homework, and planning for NaNo. Seems like it'll be a weekend well spent to me!

I think i'm out of substance now. That was pretty full, don'tcha think?

Keep Calm and Write Well

-Siobhan

Did His Taco Just Smack Him The Face? Yeah... It Did...

2010-10-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

I suppose that I should be focusing on other aspects of writing, especially when it comes to my Creative Writing class. But I can't help but be excited for the fact that there's NaNoWriMo coming up next month. I've already started planning, practicing, doing warmups. They're really hard to do. I mean, I try and pace myself, but it is difficult to do. So, according to the math I did, I need to write about 1700 words a day to reach fifty thousand. But, I can write way more than that per day. I'm going to try and write 5000 words per day this NaNo, which will give me a grand total of 150K.

But not all of these words are going to the same place. In fact, I think it'd be better if the went to totally different places. So I'm going to start with my newest novel idea (I'd rather not say on here) and then move to another novel idea. It's going to be difficult, because I'd also like to try and do an additional 1000 words a day, as part of the 1000 words a day challenge. Honestly, I can write 1000 words in about twenty minutes, if I really push myself. It's not that difficult, I just did it, in twelve, and I wrote a pretty cool free-write. I try and make them all different.

So I'm using a collaboration of different programs, write monkey, because I have it on my desktop, and I like that it's full screen and makes my screen dark. It helps me concentrate, and it counts my words for me. I'm also going to be using WriteOrDie to help me do my words in thousands, because that's a good tool.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I'd love to get started right now. I know I haven't developed my characters, like... at all, but I could totally do it. I know what I want to happen, and I know that my character is a widow who has two young children. Her name is Daisy, and her childrens' names are Bethany and Zoe.

I've been trying to win NaNo for two years now. This will be my third attempt. What's that old saying? Third time's the charm? I think this is the year that I'll win NaNo. I can't wait to get started, and I can't wait to win.

Hurray!

-Siobhan

Sweet Disposition

2010-10-07T14:15:00.001-07:00

Probably my new favorite song. It's by The Temper Trap. I really like it.

Yes, I am procrastinating right now, how kind of you to notice? Math homework? Oh, that can wait, silly. I have more important things to do. I have the other half of my psychology test tomorrow! I can't wait!

No, but seriously. I really have a lot to do. I just dropped in to say that I hate liars.

kthxbi

-Siobhan

Access Denied

2010-10-05T15:59:00.001-07:00

Gahhhhh. I'm siiiiiiick.

Not like *achoo* sick like *AHFREAKINGCHOOOOOOOOOOO* sick. I woke up Monday morning feeling stuffy and gross, and, well... I still feel that way.

Saturday I got my permit. Ridiculousness at that DMV.

Go get form
Go get picture taken
Take receipt from picture back to lady who gave you the form
Give her social security card and birth certificate
Pay to take the test ("$40?")
Sit on uncomfortable chairs
Wait to take test
Get called for vision test
Go take actual permit test
Pass permit test
Wait to pay for actual permit
Pay for actual permit
Wait to take picture for permit
Take picture for permit
Wait for permit
Receive permit.
Rejoice!

Yay! So now I have a permit, and I can drive. I also have a ton of homework, and a cold. I just felt like sharing. And now I have shared. It's a bit after seven. My self-proclaimed bed-time is at eight. I need to get all my homework done before then. Gahhhh. Oh, and this guy on Jeopardy collects pocket protectors. Oy... Nerds these days. I guess it doesn't surprise me that he got the Star Wars question correct.

I am not the droid you're looking for...

-Siobhan

Books

2010-10-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

BooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooksBooks.

I love reading, I always have, and I think a huge part of my writing comes from reading. Right now I'm reading Jellicoe Road by... someone. It's fantastic so far. I'm a little confused, but I think that my confusion will be resolved eventually.

I've comprised a large list of books which I'd love to read. Love love love to read. It's a huge list:

Emma - Jane Austen
Mansfield Park - Jane Austen
Northanger Abbey - Jane Austen
Persuasion- Jane Austen
Gone With the Wind - Margret Mitchell
Uninvited - Justine Musk
Blood Angel - Justine Musk
Lord of Bones - Justine Musk

An Abundance of Katherines - John Green
Will Grayson Will Grayson - John Green
Looking For Alaska - John Green
The Invisible Man - H.G. Wells
The Time Machine - H.G. Wells
The War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
The House of the Seven Gables - Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
A Journey To The Center of the Earth - Jules Verne
Witch and Wizard - James Patterson

Kingdom of the Golden Dragon - Isabel Allende
Forest of the Pygmies - Isabel Allende
Kabul Beauty School - Deborah Rodriguez
Eon: Dragoneye Reborn - Alison Goodman
Wicked - Gregory Maguire
The Third Angel - Alice Hoffman
Green Angel - Alice Hoffman
Triskellion - Will Peterson
Montmorency - Eleanor Updale
A Bend in The Road - Nicholas Sparks
The Story of Forgetting - Stefan Merrill Block

Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien
Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien
Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King - J.R.R. Tolkien

Pendragon Book 3: The Never War - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 4: The Reality Bug - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 5: Black Water - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 6: The Rivers of Zadaa - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 7: The Quillan Games - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 8: The Pilgrims of Rayne - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 9: Raven Rise - D.J. MacHale
Pendragon Book 10: The Soldiers of Halla - D.J. MacHale

Inkheart - Carnelia Funke
Inkspell - Carnelia Funke
Inkdeath - Camelia Funke

Brisingr - Christopher Paolini
Uglies - Scott Westerfield
Pretties - Scott Westerfield
Specials - Scott Westerfield
Extras - Scott Westerfield
Midnighters: The Secret Hour - Scott Westerfield
Midnighters: Touching Darkness - Scott Westerfield
Midnighters: Blue Moon - Scott Westerfield
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters - Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan's Curse - Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian - Rick Riordan

Burned - Ellen Hopkins
Impulse - Ellen Hopkins

Identical - Ellen Hopkins
Tricks - Ellen Hopkins

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larson
The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larson
The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest - Stieg Larson

Those are just the ones that I'm thinking of right now. There's half a billion others I want to read, not to mention the ones I want to re-read.

But the problem isn't that I love to read, it's that there are too many good books out there. I'm bound to miss a few... Rats. Maybe I'll be like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and turn myself into a robot when the technology becomes available, so I can read all of the books in the world. Wouldn't that be fantastic?

Right now I have to go read some Pre-Calc word problems. Joy.

-Siobhan

Drizzling. No Rain Is Worse Than A Drizzle.

2010-09-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Oy, vey. Life is so difficult, you know? Here I am, it's 3:29 PM on a cheerfully drizzly Monday afternoon, and I'm tired. Oh, but the day has just begun. Yes, it's true that I already went to school and had a lovely time going through each of my classes, but that feeling of "overwhelming school work" seems to be nicely accompanying my junior year. Hurray. I was afraid I'd be missing out.

So, I have to write a paragraph about why I chose to read Paper Towns for my Independent Reading Project. (I already finished the book, yay for being ahead!) Make sure I'm sufficiently prepared for a presentation about The Civil War tomorrow in American Studies, do several worksheets for Pre-Calc, memorize lines for Acting, as well as read and begin to study for a Psychology test that I have next Wednesday. Oh, and if I have time, I'll do my Current Events so I don't have to do that tomorrow after auditions.

But wait, there's more! I also have jazz from six to seven, so that cuts out an entire hour of time that I kind of need. Fan-freaking-tastic.

On a side note, Paper Towns (by John Green) was a fantastic book, and I highly recommend it. I picked something new out of the library today. No clue what it's about, just a point and choose method, really, but I like the satisfaction of reading for a deadline when it comes to library books. I guess you could say that it's an adrenaline rush, wondering if I'll finish or have to pay the extra five cents because the book is late, but... not really because I finish half of them within a day, but we have several weeks to read them. Whatever. I get my small pleasures where I can, don't mock it.

In other news, I need to get started on my homework before I claw my eyes out with a fork and fall asleep. Which may be some time in the next few minutes, so I should get going.

I'll show you how God falls asleep on the job.

-Siobhan

Advanced Placement? No...

2010-09-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of anything witty to say, forgive me. It's been really hard to get on and type up a blog when I'm too busy worrying about my classes. How long have I been in school? Going on like, twelve years now, right? This sucks...

My entire freaking life has been spent in school. I'm so sick of it. Let's just leave, and not worry about any more AP Psychology homework. Sound good? It sounds amazing to me.

Life is a freaking hallway.

-Siobhan

THE EVENT

2010-09-20T18:38:00.001-07:00

It's on right now.

The northeast part of my brain is under attack. Crap.

Can't talk. Commercial over.

I'll write tomorrow, I've been slacking.

-Siobhan

The Doctah Is In

2010-09-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

As in, Doctor Who? You know, the show that I haven't had time to watch in over two months? Yeah, that one...

Anywho, FREE SHIRT FRIDAY FROM DISTRICT LINES. I think I entered to win an anberlin shirt... I really like their music, it makes me super happy. Anyway, just go to DistrictLines, pick a T-Shirt, and then hit the Tweet button to enter to win it. They're giving away five shirts instead of one this week, so definitely enter.

This week consisted of papers, meetings, and lots of other things that I really don't want to talk about.

We have Tri-M auditions the week after next on Tuesday and Thursday. Jack and I will be auditioning the singers and piano players. It should be a lot of fun, and I'm excited to see a bunch of new people get integrated into the club.

Other than that, there's nothing going on right now, and I'm about to go and grab a can of seltzer to settle down with a book for the rest of today. I'm *hopefully* going to get my permit tomorrow at least I hope so.

I'll have to explain PoppaCap tomorrow too. No, it has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol or pills. I'll explain it tomorrow.

PoppaCap

-Siobhan

The Scent of Bacon

2010-09-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

Has this ever happened to you?

Your teacher tells you to write a story, a sci-fi version of the three little pigs. She gives you no page limit at all, and you go and write your story, giving each pig a background story, a wife, and a purpose, as well as the wolf. Your story is the best story you've ever written for an assignment like this, and you're so proud of it. So you go in, bearing a smile and eight pages, waiting for her praise on how amazing you are. Instead, she tells you how it's too long, how you need to cut it down or re-write the assignment, because she refuses to grade it.

Is this fair? I think it's not. I worked really hard on my story, and the fact that she dismissed it without even reading it, especially after she didn't give me a guideline for pages? I think it's completely unfair. I'm actually really upset about this, and it was the first time that I've been legitimately upset all year.

Ugh.

On a side note, he talked to me a lot today, and it was really good to get to know him. I think I like him... Oy, great. "WAY TO GET YOURSELF INTO THIS, SIOBHAN!"

I know, I know...

I have a lot of homework.

Gotta rewrite that damn story. That e-mail thing failed again yesterday, I really gotta fix that.

-Siobhan

*Bitter*

Just to Clarify

2010-09-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

I did write yesterday, actually. I sent it to the "Auto-publish" email thingy, but it didn't work... Basically I said I was tired. I'll look into that.

I'd also like to clarify that my name does not start with a C. It never has, and it probably never will.

Right now I'm exhausted, even though it's only eight, and I could probably fall asleep. I think I'll do my homework and go to bed.

S, not C.

-Siobhan

Current Events

2010-09-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today is about homework. Completely and totally about homework and nothing else, aside from the occasional break to write a blog or use the bathroom. I've finished my big project for today, and I really only have to do Psych and Math work today. Which involves a worksheet and a one-page response to a few pages of reading, as well as another assignment. Oh yeah, and I have a psych test on Tuesday. "Ah!" I'll probably do my current events work for American Studies too...

On second thought, maybe I do have a lot of homework. It certainly sounds that way. Should I push preparing for NaNoWriMo and freewriting out the window? Naw... I need to freewrite. I've been really good about blogging every day for... Twelve days now? Something like that. Since the beginning of September.

I'm listening to Alex Day right now. His album 117% Complete is one of my new favorites. It only has three songs on it; "Sonic Doesn't Need A Story" "I Hate Mario Kart Wii" and "Pokemon, What Happened To You?" They're so funny. He also has a few songs with his old band Chameleon Circuit which are about Dr. Who. So, if you're a nerd you should go check him out, because he's quite amusing.

I need to get going on the rest of my homework.

I'm feeling Princess Peachy.

-Siobhan

Never Forget

2010-09-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

Today is September 11th, 2010.

Nine years ago, on this day, I was sitting in a classroom in second grade in New York, blissfully unaware of what was happening. We were let out of school early and sent home. I remember being mad because I was supposed to go to my friend Briana's house, but couldn't.

It's crazy to think of the catastrophe this country suffered on this day nine years ago. But sadder yet, is knowing that my younger brothers don't remember it. They were too young. A part of me wishes that they were at the point of having cohesive memories so I could say "Where were you?" And they could answer. But I'll always remember. I'll never forget.

-Siobhan

INFATUATIONNNNNNNNNNN... Maybe More?

2010-09-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I'm so frustrated right now.

Yes, I got everything done yesterday that I needed to, and yes it was all up to par, and no my creative writing teacher didn't go berserk over a spider today, but I'm still frustrated.

Ya see, there's this guy. ("Oh, no! It's another one of "those" stories!") Yes, yes it is. Well, the first day of school it was like BAM! Attractive guy. But, I ignored it, "Focus on school this year, Siobhan." I wasn't mean, I was nice to him, but I wasn't anything but myself. Then he starts sitting next to me, talking to me, and I noticed (I wrote about this one "Guy, if you're ever reading this, thank you. I appreciated it." Or something along those lines... See previous post.) I finally got up enough courage to tell my friend Liz about him, but casually.

"So, what do you think of him?"
"Him? He's kind of weird, perfect for you."

GAH.

But this too was ignored. "School, Siobhan! School!" Yeah, yeah...

So today, I looked him up on facebook. I wanted to be his friend, no sense in just talking to the guy. So I found his page, clicked on the little wall tab, and his status struck me. I felt my heart starting to race.

"I think I like someone." and "I swear, I saw an angel."

Now, I have no freaking clue if this is about me or not (I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, hope that it is...) but... I'm not going to get too worked up about it, "Yeah right!" (Shuddup, self.) because then I'll just get hurt. "SCHOOL!" SHUDDUP!

Meh. What does one do in this situation? Gahhhh. Him and his... gahhhhhh.

Frownieface? I have no idea. What the hell do I dooooooo?!
-Siobhan

Agenda

2010-09-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

First of all, the new "Google Instant" kind of scares me...

Second of all, I have an agenda. I'm making a To-Do list today. Yay!

1. Laundry.
2. Clean room.
3. Poem
4. "Good" essay
5. Supplies for Speech Arts folder
6. Math homework
7. AP Psych homework
8. American Studies homework
9. Go over monologue
10. Free-write
11. Work on a story.

Oy, that's a long list. I should really get started... I know yesterdays post was less than satisfactory, but I remembered right before I had to go to bed, and I really didn't want to spend half the night writing a suitable blog post. Besides, I had written two the day before. That has to count for something.

Off to start on this list.
-Siobhan

Quin-Polar?

2010-09-08T19:34:00.001-07:00

So, I have this teacher.
And she's more than bi-polar.
She's like, quin-polar.
Says I.

And that's all I have to say.
-Siobhan

One Way Streets

2010-09-07T18:19:00.000-07:00

Ugh. You know, I was going to go to bed, and then I remembered something that I really wanted to talk about, and that's one way streets. I don't know what it's like in other countries, except for Canada, but here in America we all stay to the right side of the road. In fact, there are 165 countries that drive on the right side of the road, while there are only 75 which drive on the left side of the road. Why?

Do these people need to feel so special that they can't do what's right (no pun intended) and drive on the correct side of the road? Some might argue that it's culture, but I disagree. I think that the British (Yes, them. I know they're not the only ones who do, but most of the others are derived from British colonies, or still are, quite frankly, so that impact has almost forced them to drive on the left side of the road.) have a physiological need to be different, or trendy, or... whatever. I really don't care what the reason is, but today I decided to look around my school and notice which kids (freshman, mainly) were having problems going to the right sides of hallways.

Kids from Spanish or Portuguese speaking countries stayed on the right side of the hallway, (except for those who stopped in the middle to have a conversation, ugh. Don't get me started.), while kids from India and a few kids I know who are from Western Europe stuck to the left side of the hallway.

When I got home, I looked it up. It just so happens that India is a left-driving country, while countries like Brasil or Spain are right-driving countries. Huh.

So maybe we do learn things from our parents, things that we really can't control all that much. I'm sure that we all have odd little things that we've picked up from them, I personally found out that certain words that I thought were real weren't after I turned twelve. It was quite a heart-breaker.

But I decided to branch out with my theory that we learn them from our parents, which may be painstakingly obvious to you, so much so that you're sitting there going; "Duh, Siobhan. Can you please pick up a valid point now?" No, anonymous voice. I cannot. I decided that I would test it with animals.

No, I didn't inject them with botox or anything ridiculous like that. Instead, I put one of my cats at the bottom of the stairs, where he was eating a few treats I had left for him. I then waited for him to finish and look up at me, and then walked down the stairs, sticking to the right side for four times, then the left side for four times. I did this for each of my cats. ("Get a life, Siobhan!" I'm working on it...)

The results showed that the cats showed a preference for staying to their right, my left, just as American culture would have it. Now, unfortunately I can't test this with any British cats, but, if I could, I'm sure that it would be about the same as far as results.

That's about all I have to say on the matter, I just really wanted to get it out of my brain before it exploded with data that I always manage to forget to write down. I'm expecting tomorrows blog to be really long, I have twenty or so post-its piling up with things that I wanted to talk about, this being only one of the post-its. Make that nineteen to go!

Have a nice night.
-Siobhan

Orange and The River Thames

2010-09-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Oy. Today was a long day. I guess I can't say was... the day is still going on technically. Let me rephrase.

Oy. Today was a long school day. There, that's better I suppose. Being a grammar nazi has it's advantages on occasion. Today, I'm trying out an experiment. I'm starting out each paragraph with the word "Oy." ...Alright, I guess it's not really a word. Superlative? Something like that. Hah, I have no idea. I just pulled that word out of no where. I have no idea what it means.

Oy, someone get me a dictionary. But it's really, really hot today. Why do I always wear pants on the hot days? Well, I wear pants every day. Hopefully. But I mean like... jeans. Um, nooooo. I shouldn't have worn them today.

So anyway... Whoops! Forgot to say Oy. Oh well... that was a stupid experiment anyway. There's this kid in my speech arts class who's like... paying attention to me. I mean, everyone pays attention to me, I'm a clown... and I take pride in that fact, because I'm probably the least sarcastic person you'll ever meet.

...That was sarcasm, darlings.

But this guy was paying attention to me, and... it was kind of nice. I forgot what that felt like. Haven't had a boyfriend since freshman year, kids. But he was really nice, and I really appreciated it. So, if you're ever reading this, boy. I noticed, and I appreciated it. Okay? Just know that. *Insert smile*

On a different field, I'm going to play some Fire Emblem to relax before I do my homework.

Have a nice rest of your day, see you tomorrow.
-Siobhan

Attempting To Memorize...

2010-09-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

ATTEMPT ONE: I'd like to tell you a story. There was a successful business woman who lived just outside of Austin. She was on her way to a sales conference in Fort Worth. Instead of flying, she decided to drive. She wanted to test the new Lexus that her company had awarded her just that week. She had the fuzz buster on, cruise control set at eighty, Garth on the tape deck. As she was driving, she noticed that the air was getting kind of dusty. A mile later she slowed down because the car was being rocked by a very strong wind. In the distance, coming her way, she saw a giant black funnel. It was a tornado. She stopped the car, having enough sense to open the windows a crack so they wouldn't explode. She then lay down on her front seat, covering her face and praying to God that the twister would pass her by without doing her harm. Suddenly, out of no where, a giant object falls onto her car, breaking the windshield. The woman screams. Cut to an hour later. The woman is now standing on the road, an entire tree laying across the hood of her new car. She tries her car phone, it doesn't work. Great, so here she is, in the middle of no where, no phone, no help, it's starting to get dark, what is this woman going to do? She sees a car coming up the road. It pulls over. It's a Cadillac Seville. A nice looking man gets out, early fifties, business suit, tie, gray at the temples. He reminds her of her boss. She glances through the window of the car, seeing a briefcase on the front seat, a Business Week, a take-out coffee cup, the steam rising over the dash. The sight is so comforting, she almost cries.

SUCCESS! See you all tomorrow
-Siobhan

Oy.

2010-09-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

I still haven't memorized my lines... I know, I know. I'm a bad person, and I have to perform this thing tomorrow. WHAT AM I GONNA DOOOOOOOOO? Maybe I'll luck out and won't have to go tomorrow. But I still need to memorize them. It's just such a boring skit, and the movement can't be very complicated because they're giving a seminar, and... Meh.

Anywho, I really want some Cheerios right now. I've been craving them since dinner last night, and it's driving me CRAZY. So hungry...

Erm, so... I have to memorize my lines, and I started reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, because I finished Mockingjay, and I loved it. It was really good. So now I'm reading that. I don't know how I feel about it, so far. I feel like it has a really slow beginning, I know that much. But I'm sure that it's really good, otherwise it wouldn't be a movie... And it's on the best seller list. I know that much.

I don't really have much else to say. Today's labor day, or something... No school. Wooo! My internet is kind of spazzing. Fantastic.

See y'all on the flip side.
-Siobhan

Memorization

2010-09-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have to go memorize my lines, but I figured I'd write todays blog while I'm thinking about it. It's going to be pretty quick.

First of all, some genius started a twitter account for Voldemort. Funniest thing ever.
Go check it out. http://twitter.com/Lord_Voldemort7.

Second of all, Fire Emblem is really addictive, and I hope you don't have to do anything important if you're going to play it, because you can pretty much guarantee that you won't get anything done.

Third of all, I'm more than halfway through Mockingjay. It's really good, and I think I'll reward myself with the end of the book after I memorize my lines.

That's all I have to say today, told you this would be short. I have to go memorize four pages, which isn't that much in retrospect, considering what I've had to memorize before.

Love, Peace, Chicken Grease.
-Siobhan

Mocking Jay? No. Mockingjay.

2010-09-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

I mentioned yesterday that I have to read a book this weekend for Creative Writing. I went to Borders today, happy to find that they had Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins ready and available. And at 20% discount, which is always a plus. So I got the book, as well as a keychain of the Mockingjay pin which is such a key element in the story. So I have it on my keys now, which makes me feel like a Capitol rebel!

...Or something to that effect. I also got The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, since it's being turned into a movie, and I always read the books before I see the movie. Of course, I won't be reading that until I finish reading Mockingjay.

So far, I like it. But I really can't make a judgment, because I'm only on page twenty-five or so. I really like the series, and it's kind of a bittersweet book already, because I know that it'll be the last book in the series... I can't wait to see how it ends, but at the same time I don't want it to end. It's quite an enigma.

I have two days to memorize two and a half pages for Acting class. I can do it. I don't really have any other homework for school, unless you count getting ahead on the reading I have to do. Off to play some video games until tonight. I think Saturdays are going to be my happy day.

Don't ask for favors. Don't talk to strangers. Don't ask me why.
-Siobhan

Sing-A-Longs and Hand Grenades

2010-09-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

First of all, the title of this post is completely irrelevant. No where in my day today did I encounter a sing-a-long or a hand grenade. I suppose I'm lucky...

Todays events included school. Aren't I exciting?

School started with me at the band room, as most days start. I walked to Creative Writing, where my teacher had us journal. I wrote about me being able to fly and being a badass super hero. The usual. She then explained what would be expected of us in the class, and what we could expect to be due next week. I have to read a book, prepare to write some kind of creative assignment on it, and I have to write a poem about my everyday life. That one shouldn't be too hard, I write what I do every day... Hence the blog. Then I had American Studies. Don't you love when half the class (of fifty-one) decides to not do their homework? Really makes you remember that you're in Danbury Freaking High School.

But I held my tongue and didn't say anything about the situation until I got home and was able to rant to my mother. We went to advisory, and then I went to the other half of American Studies, where we got in to a very heated discussion about Thomas Friedman's book: Hot, Flat, and Crowded. Not my favorite topic, but it was interesting enough that I was able to contribute.

After that I went to Madrigals, which was fun, and then to Pre-Calculus which was boring. Speech Arts was fun, and Acting proved challenging when the entire class had to work together to create a Human Machine. It was difficult, but we really connected and did it together as a class.

Then I had AP Psychology, where I filled in some information about myself... Tedious, but it's better than having to start the class in the heat.

So then I came home and slept until seven o'clock. Which is always a plus. I was really tired, apparently.

I don't have much else to say. I'm gonna go read and go to sleep, seeing as it's after ten thirty now.

Hmm, I'm sleepy.
-Siobhan

School Daze.

2010-09-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school. All of my classes went well, I think I made an impression on the teacher in each, (I got that feeling during my American Studies class especially. The teacher handed out a paper with thirty current events questions. Most of them I just happened to know off the top of my head, and others I made an educated guess at. I got most of them right, and I think they took notice. Of course, that's hard to say. There are fifty-one kids in that class...) and it felt like the start to a really successful, really good year.

Let me go class by class for you:

Before School: Went to the band room to hang out with all of my friends. I didn't realize how much I had missed them. Especially Jack. He's my best friend, quite honestly. We don't see much of each other over the summer, but that has more to do with me working and him having gigs with his band. We got a chance to catch up, and he walked me to Advisory like the kind gentleman friend he is.
Advisory: First off, Advisory is like a homeroom, except it only meets once a week (Mondays after seventh period, oddly...) and you talk about issues through the school, voting for class presidents, schedule changes, and it's a time to do homework later in the year. So today I went, got the assignment books from the level office, and then was given my schedule (which was finally correct after three visits to the guidance councilor last year.) and sent off to my first period class.
Creative Writing: My teacher is insane. Insane in the good way, though. She's sarcastic (very much like me, actually...) and she expects a lot in the way of creativity and writing. Yay! She had us make nametags, we were aloud to ask her questions about her personal life to get to know her better, and then the bell rang (really short periods today...)
American Studies: There are fifty-one kids in this class. Oh my God. I don't know how I'll be able to work like this, though I guess it'll be a good tool because of all of the college classes that are lectures and large like this. It's really intimidating though. We did a thirty question current events worksheet, which I did fairly well on. I was proud that I was pretty well rounded as far as the answers I knew.
Madrigals: This is like a choir. I miss the old group, I'm not going to lie. And I'm the only girl that was in the class last year, which is both an honor and an intimidation. I kind of feel pressured to carry the weight of my entire section, which isn't a weight I'm really in the mood to carry, quite honestly. But we didn't have to sing much, which is good, because my voice was kind of tired because of the "Hi! I haven't seen you in forever! I miss you!" etc.
Pre-Calculus: Bah, humbug. KILL ME. I'm going to hate this class. I mean, math is great. I'm good at math, I can do it, but I have to work my freaking butt off to get it to work in my brain. This is going to be so hard, but I'm going to make it work... I hope.
Speech Arts: It's a good thing that I'm going to have this class right after math. I'm going to need an escape after that class. I'm so excited to be a part of this class, th be able to finally enjoy myself in an elective that wasn't something like choir. Don't get me wrong, I love Choir, but I'm just very excited to have a choice elective. It's exciting, and this is a good start. It involves a lot of moving, dancing, and putting yourself outside of your comfort zone, which is something I've always been good at as an actress.
Acting: Same teacher, same room. I'm so happy to have this class. It's going to be so much fun to get to act with my friends and all of the people I've been wanting to take Acting with since like... Freshman year? Good stuff. I'm excited.
AP Psychology: I had this teacher freshman year. Not sure that it's such a good thing, but, I liked the way she taught, and I think that I'll end up being good at this class.

I have friends in each. I'm so happy that I know people in every class, I'm tired of feeling like a stupid freshman who doesn't know anyone in their class. I'm good at making friends anyway, but, you know... It's a pain, really.

I'm going to go do my homework, because I have to do every single homework assignment that I get assigned. Day one, complete. Only one hundred and seventy nine days left until summer. School days, that is.

-Siobhan

Erm, Eight?

2010-09-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

Dang, I kind of failed...

Okay, maybe not kinda. I really failed. Epically is the best way to put it. But what can I say? I had a job. I made about $500 this summer, which is very good, if I do say so myself.

Happy September First, by the way. School starts tomorrow. Yes, I'm nervous. I'm not going to lie. But, I did all of my summer work with a few days to spare, so I don't feel like a slacker. It actually amazes me how my friends can sit there and be okay with not doing any of their summer work.

I like to be prepared for school;

Binders, Folders? Check.
Pencils, Pens, Hilighters? Check.
Post-its? Check.
Paper? Check.
Calculator, Books, Summer work? Check.

Yep, I think I'm ready. Anyway, here's my class schedule:

Period 1: (Semester 1) Creative Writing
Period 1: (Semester 2) Web Design Business
Period 2: American Studies
Period 3: American Studies
Period 4: Madrigals
Period 5: Honors Pre-Calc
Period 6: (Semester 1) Speech Arts
Period 6: (Semester 2) Multi-Cultural Issues
Period 7: Acting
Period 8: AP Psyc.

I'm excited about it. It's a pretty solid schedule. Sure, that AP class is going to be hell, and I'm pretty sure that Pre-Calc isn't going to be a walk in the park either... But, what am I supposed to do? It's going to be my junior year in high school. This is the year that decides what college I go to. If I play my cards right, meaning honor roll all four quarters, I'll not only have an insurance discount for driving, I'll also have quite a few college doors open for me. Which always helps.

So I had to read four books this summer. They were good. I had to read:

The Things They Carried - Tim O'Brian
The Namesake - Jhumpa Lahiri
Hot, Flat, & Crowded - Thomas Friedman
Blink! - Malcolm Gladwell

I enjoyed The Things They Carried, to an extent. It's not my favorite genre of book, but I enjoyed it for what it is. I really liked The Namesake. I liked the authors style of writing, and I loved the message of the book. Really well written, and I'd actually go so far as to recommend it to people. Hot, Flat, & Crowded was Long, Dumb and Boring. Seriously, I couldn't have cared less about the book. Sure, I know it's important to know about our economy, and to know how we landed in the desperate recession that we're in right now. But it could have been more exciting. The author used big words that I'm pretty sure he made up, and it just was unnecessarily boring. I loved Blink! It was amazing. If this is what that AP Psyc class is like, sign me up! The talk of all of the experiments about subconscious decisions was amazing. All of the tests within the book, everything. I even went so far as to go online and take one of the tests that the book mentioned.

But of course, I haven't said what I've been doing all summer;

Richter was a major part of this season, as always. I participated with all three shows. For the first, Guys and Dolls, I acted as the assistant stage manager. It was a good job, involved a lot of set moving among other things. The second show was 42nd Street, and I was the Stage Manager. That was a huge job, and the one that I got payed to do. I called people and let them know when there were rehearsals, when, what time, what dance shoes they would need. I delegated spiking the stage and set movements during shows based on who was on what side of the stage during which scene who wasn't getting changed. It was a lot of work, but I did it, and I did it damn well. The third show was Carousel. Not the most happy of shows, but I was part of the cast for it, and I had a pretty good time.

Other than that, my life consisted of reading, playing video games, and watching episodes of Supernatural, Dr. Who and American Chopper (Fantastic shows by the way). Don't get me wrong, I did plenty of writing too. I started a new story, and just today I went through and found all of the stories that I've been working on, decided on one to work on until I finish.

But then there's always Nation Novel Writing Month coming up. And of course, the rules for that require that you start a new story. Ugh. Rules can be rules. But I'll probably ignore the rules and just work on whatever story I'm working on. Which happens to be a story called Severance, which is kind of cool. I'm excited to see how it works out. It plays up the old cliche of the daughter finding out that her parents are part of some secret organization, that she was raised and destined to save the world, whatever. You know, the usual.

So it's the start of another school year. Hard to believe I've been through Thirteen of these, including pre-school. Of course, there isn't just school to worry about. I'm the vice president of Tri-M. I'm going to be joining NAHS, and then there's the play to worry about. At least I'm not doing swim team this year, it's always important to balance yourself. And between school and after-school activities, I'm sure I'll be busy enough to need to balance myself with some writing, or a book, or a nice long conversation with my sister, or even the occasional episode of Dr. Who.

It'll be a good year, but like any new year (even a school year) I have to make a resolution.

My resolution for this year is to do every homework assignment. Every single one. Rehearsal and after-school won't be excuses, because I have to do every single one.

I'm excited to see where this resolution takes me, and to see what doors it opens up for my future. This is a life changing year, let's see how I change.

-Siobhan

Summah

2010-07-15T21:25:00.001-07:00

It's still summer... I'm tired. Things have happened. I'm not in the mood to share. Maybe tomorrow, or at a time when I can actually keep my eyes open.

Summer Days: Day 6/7

2010-06-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it's only been a week of summer? It feels like so much more, doesn't it? Ugh, what am I going to do with myself for all of this time? Sure, there's reading, blogging, writing, stage managing, homework, even (though that's a stretch) but I'm just so bored.

Scratch that, I'm just really, really tired. These 7-11 rehearsals at Richter are kicking my butt right now. I should probably sleep, I have a lot to do for Richter tomorrow. Job Chart? Ew.... That'll be fun. Not.

On the bright side, I'm slowly but surely putting TV shows on my iPod. And by slowly, I mean at the speed of a turtle stuck in molasses. Life, you're killing me. Slowly, but surely.

So nothing exciting happened yesterday or today. I watched some TV, some YouTube, read, wrote, went to rehearsal, etc. I'm doing so badly at this "everyday blogging" thing... Maybe I'm just not cut out for it? That's a lie, I love it.

My sarcastic mood will wear off after a solid nights rest, and then I'll write something meaningful in the morning. Maybe... Probably... Hopefully.

-Siobhan

Summer Days: Day 4/5

2010-06-27T20:43:00.001-07:00

Eh, so I forgot one day. I'll consolidate. I'm saving the environment.

So today was a pretty good day. I think my parents got food poisoning at the wedding they went to last night. They're both super, duper sick and like... dying. Okay, so that's an extreme, but they're definitely sick, which is bad...

On a side note, I downloaded all of the episodes of The Guild onto my iPod, and have been fighting iTunes with swords for hours trying to get them EXACTLY as I want them in a playlist. It's very demanding. I'm feeling faint.

No reading... I'll read during the day. Maybe.

I have a lot to do this coming week. I need props. Prop list. Eh! MUST BE A GOOD STAGE MANAGER.

I'll start by going to bed...soon.

See? Consolidation complete.
-Siobhan

PS: My iPod failed at accepting that I know more than it does. It self imploded. Crap.

Summer Days: Day 3

2010-06-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday; the beginning of the weekend. And to be more specific, the beginning of the second weekend of the production of Guys and Dolls that is playing at Richter Park this summer. It seems almost like summer is trying to fly by quickly. Even though it's only day three, I almost find myself being bored. Last night, I was up until obscene hours of the night, just because I was bored and couldn't sleep. And... well yes. Let's face it. Also because I can.

But I have so much to do this summer! This weekend! I really just want everything to go smoothly, but I don't know how this is all going to work. It's almost like, even though it's summer, I'm still in that state of mind where I'm constantly working. Is this how adults feel? I sure hope not.

Anyway, I have something else to talk about. Maybe it's allergies or something, but lately, every time I eat, I get sick to my stomach. Not like, nausea, but more like that feeling that you just ate something rancid and now you don't feel good... But every single time... It's weird, and I almost don't want to eat anymore, because I don't want to disrupt my stomach. I don't know. Whatever.

I stayed up until three in the morning last night. Why? I was watching this show that someone tweeted about, called The Guild. I'd never even heard of it before, but I'm so glad that I watched it. It's so funny. Each episode is like five minutes long, and the basics of it is that there are a group of people who play a game that's similar to World of Warcraft, and they've formed a guild called the Knights of Good. But then one of the guild members goes missing, and shows up at the main character's house and says that he's in love with her. And then they meet each other in real life, and everything is changed.

But anyway, I recommend the show, because it's really funny. And the new season of The Guild comes out on July 13th, which isn't that far away.

I need to clean my room so I'll be able to go out after the show tonight. I do live to party. Not really, but I enjoy going out with the cast for a drink (mine include Mountain Dew most of the time.) Let me make a To Do List for today.

TO DO
-Make chore chart
-Learn "June" dance
-Clean my desk
-Clean my bookcase and the floor next to it

I probably won't get around to the chore chart... I'll make that tomorrow when I go to the dancing school...

YANTA mushrooms? Probably.
-Siobhan

Summer Days: Day 2

2010-06-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking about what I was going to write all day. "Is anything interesting going to happen? What if I freeze and end up having nothing to say?" Well, conscience, never fear. Stuff happens, and I'm here to talk about it.

First of all, I haven't gotten started on my IMMENSE summer reading list, partially because I want to get my required reading out of the way. I have to read three books, do a report on one, quotes on another, and be ready to give an oral presentation on the third. Needless to say; that will take me some time. So, I think I'm going to have to eliminate some books from that list... We'll take this as it comes, though.

Second of all, I've been Dailyboothing for about four or five days straight as of today, and I'm proud of myself. This is the longest I've ever gone... We'll see how long it lasts, but you can check out my Dailybooth at this link. And on top of that, I've been doing regular twitter updates, so, if you're so inclined, feel free to follow me on twitter at this link.

I just got home from rehearsal, and I'd like to say what a horrible feeling it was. The rehearsal process is fantastic, don't get me down. But the feeling that I'm doing something wrong is just horrible. Every time we took a break, I was practicing that freaking dance, and every time I would get it right. I'm one of those people who has to keep trying to ingrain it into my freakish brain. So I did, and I worked my ass of to try and keep up with the real dancers. Yes, I made mistakes, but I did my best. But I have to say that it is the worst feeling in the world when you can see the choreographer and the director whispering to each other and then pointing at people and nodding. Are they saying how much I suck? Probably. Are they complimenting how hard I'm working? I seriously doubt it.

And to be honest with you, I feel like it has nothing to do with dancing ability. Let's say there are two girls. Girl 1, and Girl 2. Girl 1 is about five foot six, very slender and can't dance too well. Girl 2 is about five foot even, not slender by any means, and also isn't a dancer. Nine out of ten times, they will choose Girl 1. And quite honestly, I don't think that's fair. At all.

But that's just me rambling about my weight and what not. I'm going to do something about that this summer. I know I say that every year, at least three times, but I really mean it. I'm watching what I eat, cutting out soda, and not eating bread or starches. It's a hard thing, like getting over a nicotine addiction, but it'll work out. They say that if you resist the temptation 356 times, you'll have broken the habit. But, that being said, you can still fall right back into the familiarity of that habit without blinking an eye.

In other news, it's just after ten at night, and... well... I'm really not tired. My schedule is completely backwards, and I really plan on staying up for... a solid forever. Sounds good, eh? We'll see what I'll be saying tomorrow night during Guys and Dolls performance, or the following morning at 42nd Street and then another show of Guys and Dolls. I'm just so busy! ASKDFASLJKFDAJD!

I feel like I have no more time to be a kid. There's no one telling me to eat my green vegetables anymore, no one telling me I have to go to bed at a certain time (Well... there is for that one, but I have a huge tendency to ignore it and then sleep in. Summer...) and to some extent, my room has been extremely messy... So... I don't know. I'll say it like it is.

My name is Siobhan Kathleen Ryan.
I was born in Pt. Charlotte, Florida.
I currently reside in Danbury, Connecticut.
I am entering my Junior year at Danbury High School.
I'm five feet tall, with long brown curly hair and light brown eyes.
I'm not skinny by any means.
I love to sing, but I've never taken lessons.
I want to learn how to play the piano and the guitar
I'm the vice president of Tri-M in my school.
I'm also going to be the leader of an a capella singing group out of Tri-M
I've been taking French since I was in Kindergarten
I hate French.
My favorite colours are purple, red and yellow.
I like animals that are black and white, or shades of gray.
I like really bold patterns that catch your eye.
I don't drink soda.
I'm a stage manager for 42nd Street at Richter Park.
I'm the assistant stage manager for Guys and Dolls at Richter Park
I'm in Carousel at Richter Park, where I think I might be dancing.
I'll be starting a tap class in the fall.
I love to act.
I love to write stories that go no where.
I'm me.

I think that sums me up. Like, honestly, I'm amazing with giving everything an adjective. Except for myself, of course... I guess that makes me kind of... See? No clue.

I was sitting in my math class, taking the final, and I was thinking about my writing. So, I go up, hand my final in and take out the book that I happened to have in my bag (I had lent it to someone). I didn't feel like starting it, because I wasn't interested in reading it right that moment, so instead I read about the author's inspiration for the book, hoping to spark some of my own. Instead, I found this quote. Let's just say that it describes my writing to a T.

"Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts; historical, social, climatic, culinary--which will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. The descriptions burst with colour, contrast and telling detail. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story, regardless of whether the history or the food is right. Your story is emotionally dead, that's the crux of it. The discovery is something soul-destroying, I tell you. It leaves you with an aching hunger."

Maybe you're not a writer, maybe you are. But to me, that quote is like... Everything. That describes writing so perfectly, and is written so eloquently it just makes me want to give up and go "Yup. He said it. Good bye, writing." And walk away, suitcase in hand, never to return back to that little section of my brain.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is a giant office building. There's the math section; cubicles filled with "number-people" who dictate the answers to me. The writing section; where letters type furiously to try and spark some inspiration, and about a billion other sections of this office building, that seem to be running simultaneously. My brain can multitask better than I can. That whole breathing while blinking while typing thing? Go brain, go.

Ugh, I don't know what to say next. I'm all out of ideas for things to talk about, so I'll leave you with a poem I found on Poem Hunter.

'Summer Light -Thru the Trees
Summer Light - Spotted Me
Summer Light - Palest Gold
Summer Light - Bright and Bold

I Saw Summer Light Descend
Summer Light, Made Shadows Bend
Summer Light, On An Emerald Pond
I Reached Out… It Touched My Palm

Summer Light, It Fell Like Powder
Or a Floating Incandescent Feather
Came Down, Like A Sheer, White Swan
Summer Light – Lifted Wing-Like Arms

So Sunrays Slanted – Shone-Misty
Summer Light-Beams, Embraced Me
Warm, Wonderful Summer Light
Touch Me Tender, Solar- Might

Summer Light, When I Was Lost
Summer Light, Found Me Before Frost
Summer Light - None Else Looked For Me…
Summer Light Said, “I Always See…”'

By MoonBee Canady

Until tomorrow.
-Siobhan

Summer Days: Day 1

2010-06-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL IS FINALLY OUT! That's right, world. School is out for summer. YES! Right now, it's one in the morning. I'm going to go to bed after I finish writing this, but technically it's the first day of summer... WOOT!

So, we had graduation. I didn't cry, which I was proud of, and I'm going to miss the seniors... There are a few in particular, but I won't mention any names, because I know I'll be forgetting people.

It's summer. And I plan on blogging every day. EVERY DAY. Hyper? No... But! I'm not just going to be blogging about my whole "OMG IT'S SUMMER" nonsense, and what I'm doing, there'll be movies to go see and rate, shows to run, books to read, and yes, sunburns to acquire. Speaking of which, the first sunburn of summer is healing nicely on top of my shoulders.

I made a list of books that I'm going to read. Want to hear the list? Or read it, rather?

Books To Read
-The Heretic Queen (Michelle Moran)
-Dragon Tears (Dean Koontz)
-The House of Thunder (Dean Koontz)
-The Darkest Evening of the Year (Dean Koontz)
-A Ring of Endless Light (Madeleine L'engle)
-The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
-The Second Summer of the Sisterhood (Ann Brashares)
-The Magician's Nephew (C.S. Lewis)
-Trisellion (Will Peterson)
-The Divide (Elizabeth Kay)
-A Bend in the Road (Nicholas Sparks)
-Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
-Eon (Alison Goodman)
-A Journey To The Center Of The Earth (Jules Verne)
-The Story of Forgetting (Stefan Merrill Block)
-Hoot (Carl Hiaasen)
-City of the Beasts (Isabel Allende)
-Kingdom of the Golden Dragon (Isabel Allende)
-Kabul Beauty School (Deborah Rodriguez)
-The Third Angel (Alice Hoffman)

As you can see, this isn't a miniscule list. In fact, I'd be completely pleased with reading about half of these books; granted I really enjoy them. I'm excited.

Things To Do
-Guys and Dolls
-42nd Street
-Carousel
-Go Bowling
-Go TO THE MOVIES
-Have a Sweet 16 Party

I think that's all for now. I can't wait for summer to commence. TGIS? Thank God It's Summer.

YANTA hashbrowns.
(You Are Now Thinking About...)
-Siobhan

Erm... Insert Topic Here, Please

2010-06-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say at the moment. I'm procrastinating. I guess that's saying something though... I don't want to go study! Two more days of school, two more days of school. AND THEN I'M FREE FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS!

French and World Studies tomorrow. Not looking forward to the first one, but then I can go up to my French teacher and say "Hello. Thank you for forever ruining this language. I'm never taking French again because of you, good riddance." And leave.

...Okay, so maybe I won't say that but I've definitely been thinking about it. I'll think it really loud. Maybe she'll be able to hear me.

Almost done. Almost done. God, summer is SO CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT. It's killing me. I have summer fever.

It sucks that we have finals like... the last few days of school. Honestly, life would be SO MUCH EASIER if we just had to take them earlier. No one can focus during these last few days, why should I be any different. Oh, parents. That's right. Fantastic.

Maybe I will go study... after a snack. And a nap. And some mindless cartoons. (Don't judge, I learn.) Eh. Procrastination at its finest.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
-Siobhan

Astray

2010-06-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm just not happy at the moment. Today was such a high, too. But then she has to come and ruin it; pretending she knows everything about everything. I have news for you; you don't. Frustration and anger only lead to bad thoughts. I'll try to repress them; no promises.

I wish that I could re-do this year. Honestly, I've been thinking about what I would have done differently, if I had to live my whole life over again. But then I think that I probably wouldn't have the friends that I have right now because of some world-ending paradox.

I would have tried harder academically; I kind of gave up after the end of first and third quarter. I don't know what it is, but something in me just snaps and I can't deal with school anymore. Like, right now, I'm procrastinating going to sleep because I don't want to wake up and have to go to school. At all. School; you suck. I wish I cared more about my grades. Like, I only care in certain classes; Algebra, World Studies, English. The rest can go jump off a bridge. But that's not how it's supposed to be.

I'm lost academically. I don't know where I want to be, and therefore I don't want to try to figure it out. Honest to God, I would much rather just sleep all day. But that's no way to live. Someone help me find myself. The self I used to be.

Don't say you're proud of me when I've lost my way.
-Siobhan

Devices of Cruelty

2010-06-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in quite a while... Not to say that I haven't been busy, but I could have made time, I could have not neglected this responsibility that I hold highly into consideration when I sit at a computer. The need to empty my thoughts will come to me eventually, and some time the urge is so strong, I just have to write.

Today, however is not one of those times. Not right now, at least. It is currently 6:30 AM on the briskly chilly morning of June 15th, 2010. I am wearing flannel black pajama pants and a gray shirt, and even though it is summer, my toes are freezing. I'm sure that this won't be the case when this gets published. I have a deep tendency to start writing when I don't really have time to, and then I save and go back and finish later, but by then my thoughts are so spread out across the canvas it's tough to determine one full thought from another.

Is there such a thing as a multi-thinker? I'm going to go out on a whim and assume that it would entail thinking of multiple things at the same time. I noticed it yesterday, when taking a World Studies test in class. I would begin one answer, and be writing it, knowing what I was writing, while thinking of the answer to another question. It was kind of weird, but maybe I was just more awake than usual, so that's why I noticed it.

Richter is back in full swing. I think this is when I'm the happiest; when it's Richter time. This school year didn't go exactly as planned... at all... Actually, Sophomore year sucked. There, I said it. Maybe it was the rush of finally being in high school that made being a Freshman so great, but Sophomore year definitely sucked.

As far as grades went, I didn't really accomplish my goal of "Straight A's!" When it would have been beneficial to me... But who cares about grades right? Colleges? Psh. I'm going to be on broadway. Yeah, take that dream and shove it in some dark remote corner of some desk where the paint is so far peeling that the layers underneath are pealing. It's never going to happen.

I don't know what happened during school; for some reason the competitive part of me that wanted to get such good grades, that used to get upset when I'd fail a test... It just got used to it and then it didn't care. I don't even get that sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach anymore when I fail, I don't cry, I don't get upset, nothing. I just laugh at it, and almost flaunt it a little bit. And that's really, really not good. I'm going to have to fix that, and almost re-train my body to strive for better grades. Maybe it's the act of studying that preps me, tells me that I don't have to fail, and then I get excited because, well, I'm not going to fail! But I don't think I've studied for a test in months. I've just given up hope. No one has done anything about it, and the tests that actually mater (Algebra, English, World Studies) Those are my best subjects. Woot.

I don't know. I think I need some motivation... A competitive game, perhaps? I bet I'll do better on this test than you will. That could work, that way I could bring out my competitive side in a more realistic and responsible way. Definitely a plus...

On a side note, it is now not 6:30 in the morning, it is 4:30 in the evening. No, it did not take me that long to write these moderately irrelevant words, I had to go to school. But now I'm home, and I need to finish a project. Oh, woe is me.

*Procrastination*

So, I read this book recently. Very good, highly recommended. It was called Nefertiti. I absolutely loved it. Honestly, I had forgotten my passion for everything "Mummy-like" since I last watched the movie. Maybe I'll watch it on Friday when I get home. Of course, that will be extremely late... Eh, who cares. Anyway, it was about this queen, and this sister, and poison, and the baby, and the general, and the monkeys dressed like soldiers and Aten, and OMGFANGIRLSQUEAL.

Except I am not a fan-girl, nor will I ever be. Just for the record.

But anyway, I think it's fair to be a fan of a book that you thoroughly enjoyed. (For the record, no one has enjoyed Twilight. They've pretended that they did so they could be popular, but I've never met a legitimate person who absolutely adores Twilight. Now, there are people who do that with Harry Potter, but that's completely normal, so I have nothing more to say on that subject.)

But I picked it up at Target like a month ago, and we got assigned an IRP (Independent Reading Project. We get like, three a year) for the fourth quarter, so I figured I'd just read that one. We had to write a 2-3 page plot summary, and do two creative projects. I made a travel brochure about the city of Amanara, the city they build in the book, and also a newspaper, that's kind of like a timeline; following some of the important events in like "newspaper" form... I think they're turning out really well. I finished the plot summary today in school, and now I only have to do the other half of the newsletter. Which I think is amazing, considering I did these projects in like... Three hours total, and they're pretty badass if I do say so myself.

I'd like to talk about ice cream now. I know, completely irrelevant, but I'm really in like a "food ranting" mood. Why the hell do they insist on keeping the ice cream frozen solid when it's at the stupid grocery store? It's like trying to digest a rock! IT DOESN'T WORK, GROCERY STORE ATTENDANTS. TRY SOMETHING ELSE. Raising the temperature of the freezer, perhaps? But seriously. It's very annoying. And I think we need a new microwave; because we put ice cream in there for ten seconds and then it's the perfect temperature. I'm pretty sure that it should be melted if you put it in for like... ten seconds... But that's just me. Microwaves, ice cream problems. I'm a mess.

My eyes are like closing on me; I'm so exhausted. Oh, did I mention Super Intense Writing Comp? That's what I like to call it. SIWC? You try and write as many words as you can over the summer. Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. My goal is around 100,000; but I might surpass that. *Technically* it started on the first of June, but I'm still in school, so this isn't exactly working out... I have around eleven thousand words at the moment though.

Is there anything else? I feel like there was something else... Maybe not. I have to go to Richter in a few hours. There's still spray paint on my hands. It. Won't. Come. Off.

Whatever.

Watch out for German Leprechauns; I hear they're vicious this time of year.
-Siobhan

Ten Days Later

2010-05-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in ten whole days. That sucks... I should really get that "frequent" thing to happen so that I can explain myself better.

Although, I have been sick for the past two days. It sucks... My head hurts, so does my throat, but I think that's from coughing and such. And not for nothing, but this cold would be a whole helluva lot better if I didn't have asthma... Sometimes I hate my lungs. Correction; I always hate my lungs.

I've been watching Yu-Gi-Oh lately. I really like it; it's the first real anime that I've watched. A lot of my friends have been watching Death Note, but I had already started Yu-Gi-Oh, so I wanted to finish before I watch Death Note, even if it means sitting through five seasons of it.

I'm kind of sleepy, and I don't really know what to say. It's weird to think, but I really started blogging last summer, and it's odd to think that it's almost summer again. Of course, my blog from last summer has been deleted, and then there was another blog, which evolved into this blog. Happiness.

Time to watch episode 156 of Yu-Gi-Oh.

It's time to duel.
-Siobhan

Contingent Cognition

2010-05-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty interesting. I mean, I enjoyed school today, I've had quite a few subs today in school, and then after school, there was a fundraiser. It was such a cool fundraiser too; a dodgeball tournament? I wanted to go so badly, but... of course, I had no money. Not unusual.

What really bothered me the most was that my friend offered to pay for me, and then "left" his wallet in a classroom. Okay. Empty promises, much? I had to walk home, and I was very upset. Of course, I won't let him know that he upset me, he doesn't deserve that. I just... I know it was wrong for me to ask for money in the first place, but... I just... I never get to go anywhere. Like, right now. My friends and I had made plans to go to "Movement to Music" which is like a concert at my school. I was really excited, and I told my parents about it for a few days, but they seem to have forgotten. My little brother has a concert tonight, and of course everyone is going to that. I really don't want to go, so I'm not going to, but I'm not allowed to go to Movement to Music. That's two things in one day. Why am I not surprised?

So many people are fake these days. One of my friends, is bugging me. She has a new boyfriend, but not because she's being herself. She's not being herself at all. She dyed her hair black (which is fine, I have no problem with hair dye) but now she's getting all of these piercings and gages, and she changes her attitude and what she says depending on who she's talking to. Now, I don't know about you, but that's pretty much the definition of fake. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a bit too dramatic...

I don't know, I'm feeling kind of bummed at the moment; the end of school is right around the corner, and I have to sing at graduation. The poem above? I have to sing that one. Gah. I'm going to cry, I know it. I just feel like it's such sad song. When I sing the last line, I always tear up, and I know my emotions are going to multiply by twenty million by the end of the song at the actual performance. I've just met so many new people this year, and people that I knew last year, who I wasn't really friends with, I've grown close to. Like my best friend, his older sister is one of my other best friends. She's so cool, and I love her to death. I'm sad that she's going away to college, but at least I know that Ill get to see her sometimes because I hang out at their house all the time.

I'm reluctant to go toward the end of the year. I know that it's been a difficult year, but right now I just feel like my life is on fast forward. Maybe I just need to press pause? Chew it over with a twix bar, read a book, play some flute, piano, guitar and then head back into my life. Or sleep. That'd be nice too... Either way, I'm going to go clean the kitchen.

Fulmination & Electrical Discharge

2010-05-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's raining again. It's always raining here. Isn't it weird that I have my creative streaks at night? I literally was watching a movie, and I was like "I HAVE TO WRITE OR I'LL EXPLODE" So, here I am, staring at this blank canvas again, and... the words are gone. Where do they go? Why won't they come back? It's always freaking raining, both here and in my mind.

A Fighter With No Fight

2010-05-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Does this ever happen to you? You have all of these emotions, built up, ready to burst. You feel like a balloon, malleable, adaptable, but when push comes to shove, and you open up that page, ready to write down everything that you're feeling, letting it explode onto the page, your balloon has popped, and the pieces left behind have shrunken back into the lies of manufactured rubber that you always were.

I feel like this happens to me all the time. There's so much going on, and then when I come to write about it, I have no clue what to say. There's no words for what I need to say, and then I just feel stupid for opening up a blog in the first place, when all I'm really doing is wasting my time. Emotions are so over-rated. Maybe I'm just feeling slightly overwhelmed. Maybe I'm maturing.

I got my haircut yesterday. More than a foot cut off. It looks really good; I'm quite pleased. And I noticed today that I seemed to be walking around with more of a natural confidence, the kind that I used to have. But then I look around. A bunch of my friends have gotten together, and I feel like I haven't had that kind of attention since last year, with my last boyfriend, and even still... He wasn't that fantastic. I feel horrible about myself. I feel like the only way I'm going to get that kind of attention is if I was skinny. If I looked around at all of the relationships in my school, more than 75% of them are with skinny girls. That makes me feel like crap. And then, of course, I came home and watched Glee, and it happened to be the episode where Mercedes realizes that she doesn't have to be skinny to get attention. But what did that do? It just made me feel stupid for caring about it in the first place. But I do. I can't deny the fact that I care about what other people think about me. Sure, I don't sweat the small stuff. I shrug it off and let it go. But the bigger stuff? Everything else? That scares the crap out of me, and it hurts me.

I think I have this fantasy in my head of what I look like on the inside, which is why I cringe when I walk near a mirror or a reflective surface. Remember that song? The one from Mulan? "Why can't my reflection show who I am inside?" Why can't it? Or at least, why can people only see what's on the outside. I feel like if I was skinny, people would like me more, and then I flip out and get upset, and that only brings me to eat more (because I don't know about you, but I definitely eat when I'm upset...)

Sometimes I feel like I think differently than the rest of the world; that everyone else only sees what isn't important; talent, looks and clothes. I shop at Target. I can't afford Hollister clothes. I can't afford American Eagle or Abrecrombie and Fitch or Areo. I'm not that girl. I'm not the kind of girl who can eat as much as she wants and still be the size of a twig. I wish I was. I just... I needed to rant. And so I did. But honestly, I've lost what makes me who I am, and I don't want to be the kind of person who grovels at people for scraps of attention, which is what I've become.

Just forget it all.

-Siobhan

Disney Movie Marathon - Aladdin

2010-05-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm watching a bunch, bunch, bunch of Disney movies. Lots. I'm just going to write down what I think of and my favorite quotes as I go.

First up? Aladdin.

Iago is definitely my favorite character in Aladdin. And seriously, how convenient is it that the "Diamond in the Ruff" happens to be in Agribah? Like, seriously? What if he was in Australia? Jafar looks weird. Not to mention, I love that the rich prince's horse has the exact same facial expressions as the prince. It cracks me up. This whole thing takes place in three days? No way. That's craaaaaaaaaazy. Aladdin and Jasmine fell in love in three days? Isn't that a little soon... It makes me laugh that the Sultan has this like, working model of Agribah. And why does the Sultan have a white beard, but black eyebrows? It makes no sense! Poor Iago, he serves as the comic relief of this whole movie. Ooh! Here's my favorite part of the movie! When Iago gets stuck in the door? Huh, Jasmine thinks that Aladdin is dead... I'm not surprised. That usually happens. SHE DIDN'T KNOW HIS NAME?! She just goes home with this guy, and almost kisses him? She doesn't know his name? What the hell. Dude, I want a pet monkey who'll get me out of jail. This guy is so scary. The old guy with the creepy teeth? So scary. Why would you ever trust this guy. Sure, I get that you love Jasmine, but... still... Those are some mad sketchy stairs going into the Cave of Wonder... Why does touching a jewel make the cave explode into like lava, but when Abu steps on the Carpet, nothing happens? Hah, I love how the carpet has mini Cave of Wonders in the four corners. What is Jafar doing while this whole scene with the mushroom mountain with the lamp on top if it is happening? Poor monkey. He got hypnotized by a giant monkey holding a jewel and killed everything. This is pretty trippy for Disney. The whole thing with the carpet going through the cave with the lava? It's like... CGI-ish. Wow. There is so much animal violence in this movie. The people in the beginning throw sheep around, Jafar just chucked a monkey down the hole, Iago gets smashed through wheels and into a wall... Like, really Disney? Do you hate animals that much? Hahaha, I love the Genie. He's like a stand-up comic with cosmic powers. This is the best song in the whole movie. Look! An elephant seat! I want one. Pretty. And I like the nice random palm tree oasis in the middle of the desert. Look! Genie is a sheep! Throw him! Second best song. The one where Ali is coming into Agribah? Iago gets run into another wall... A Whole New World. Such a beautiful song. There are like allusions to nearly every other Disney movie ever made in this movie. More animal violence? An elephant hanging from a tree? How come Genie can breathe underwater? And why can't he help Aladdin get out of the water? YES! It's the part with Iago pretending to be the flamingo. One of my favorites. And when Iago imitates being Jafar etc? It's so funny. Oh, Jafar. Always freeking messing up the Happily Ever After. I just realized... Iago has teeth. Parrots don't have teeth, do they? Hey, there's a reprise! Evil one... Why doesn't Jasmine have her own song? I don't think it snows in Agribah. Where are they? Now the elephant seat is a snake. Who would want to turn into a snake? He's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo creepy. Really? They fell in love in like... a day. I wonder if the Genie can have kids... That would be cool. Geniettes. Genie has a Goofy hat. Whole New World Reprise! THE END.

Quotes:

"I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!" - Iago

"You're only in trouble if you get caught. ...I'm in trouble." - Aladdin

"He's got a sword! You idiots, we've all got swords!" - Soldiers

"You'll die a street rat, and only your fleas will morn you."- Rich Prince (Ahkmed)

"And then, I stuff the crackers down his throat!" - Iago

"OWWWWWWW THAT HURT!" - Iago

"You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules." - Jafar

"INFIDELS! YOU HAVE TOCHED THE FORBIDDEN TREASURE! NOW YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" - Cave of Wonder

"But... you're so old!" - Sultan

"I can't believe it! I'm losing to a rug!" - Genie

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM, PINKEY!?" - Iago

Ifspeak

2010-04-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever woken up from a nightmare, and wished, even if it was just for a second, that it would go on? Even if you were frightened out of your mind, you wanted to know what would happen, when you were afraid, what would happen if you let that fear over-run you for that time. You want to know what it would feel like to be afraid.

People say it's a very noble thing to be afraid of fear. I don't think I agree with this. Fear of fear? How does that sound appealing? I would rather have an irrational fear of falling off of ladders (which I do...) than being afraid of fear.

But somewhere along the line, that ability to distinguish when we become afraid of fear has been lost. I don't just mean me, I mean everyone. Somewhere inside, everyone is afraid of that feeling of being afraid. We don't want this emotion to rule our lives, because it's something that we cannot control. Sure, we can control our tears. We can control what we eat, we can control procrastination, anger, jealousy, pity, and all of these other emotions. But fear? We're afraid of that one, which is why we let it rule over us.

I had a nightmare last night. I woke up, and I was afraid, and I mean really afraid of this nightmare. But then I thought about it, and it was stupid. My fears were irrational. The thought of being in a completely pitch-black place with no-one and just some unknown entity is frightening, but the identity of the unknown entity was Darth Vader, which just turned the whole thing into one big irrational nightmare. But I lay there, thinking about this stupid dream, and why I was so afraid of it. And I realized, I was afraid of being afraid. Honestly, can't you say that you would rather be pissed off than scared out of your mind? And I don't know about you, but my fear button is hot-wired to my tear ducts. As soon as I get scared, I start to cry. Not consciously, it's just something that I do... But fear of fear? That's just... I don't even know. It's true.

In the last book I read, the main character was quite insightful. She said things that made me go; "See, someone else does think like you. Someone else thinks deeply, but oddly at the same time." and I began to feel this enormous connection to this character, this deep attachment to her. Needless to say, when the character died at the end of the novel, I almost died inside.

But this character talked about "Ifspeak", which is kind of like the language that we all speak as children. The one that made teachers have the no "What if" rule at my school. What if that can of soda suddenly turned into a talking garbage can? What if it bit your head, but was poisonous? What if the only antidote for that poison was at the top of a mountain covered by metal spatulas? What if the spatulas disappeared at the sight of a rainbow? What if?

Maybe we'll all have the answers. Maybe we'll all get to figure it out. I feel like I aged fifty years in this one day. Maybe it's all just a sign of growing up, becoming more responsible. I know that just thinking about college and buying a car and getting a job gives me this enormous knot in my stomach, one that tightens as each deadline for a paper comes closer and closer. I think I'm too overwhelmed to be afraid of fear at the moment. I'm afraid of being afraid, I'll give you that, but I just don't have time to be afraid. Quite frankly, I don't have time to be angry at myself for being overwhelmed. It's not worth the energy. I'm all for saving the planet.

What if every time you got angry, you killed a tree? What if every person who admitted to being afraid would save a tree? Which side would you pick?

Ifspeak is probably one of the most powerful tools we have against the unknown. Use at your own protection/risk.

-Siobhan

Sometimes I Tie My Thumbs To My Hands To Find Out What It Would Be Like To Be A Dinosoar

2010-04-20T17:19:00.001-07:00

I'm a bit tired today, but I seem to have forgotten my beautiful blog, so I'll write quickly. I've been quite busy, I promise. Not lazy at all, just busy. Honestly, I've been playing quite a bit of pokemon lately too. I just beat HeartGold, like... got all of the legendaries and the spiky-eared pichu and everything. I'm kind of bored with it, actually... I don't know what to do... I think I might start FireRed again after I migrate all of my pokemon on there to Diamond.

I think that's all. LOST is on tonight. As one might guess, I'm quite excited.

Sodoku makes my brain hurt

Just saying

-Siobhan

Asakurii The Destroyer

2010-03-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

Part 3: Nitashira of the Stream

Hello again.

It's been a while.

Or so I've heard.

Up here.

Are you ready?

To learn?

About Nitashira?

She is important

in Asakurii's tale.

Nitashira was born wealthy.

Very wealthy.

She was the daughter of Se-Tun

Leader of the Zoh Dynasty

A dynasty that has escaped

The mention

Of your school books.

But then again,

So has Asakurii.

When she was a child

She gave up her life

Of wealth and fame

To live among farmers

Learn what it was like

To be a peasant

Under her fathers rule.

Under his wrath,

His anger.

By a stream, she waited.

Waited for the end of Se-Tun

For his demise.

She waited,

Unknowingly

For Asakurii

His plan

His wrath

His love.

They met by accident

A pull of the strings,

Of faith.

Or so they say.

She was collecting water.

He was herding Vetashi's cows.

A coincidence?

Maybe to them.

Not to the gods.

She attacked him

Afraid he was one

Of her fathers soldiers.

Instantaneous love

The kind you read about

In books.

But no books mention this love.

The tragic love

Of Asakurii and Nitashira.

"Your eyes?" She asked

One morning,

Collecting water of the spring.

"An act of faith." He replied.

"Much like our love." They kissed.

Passionately.

The kind of kiss that romances

Cannot describe

With justice.

"Will you have to leave me?"

Innocent eyes pleaded,

To go with him,

Aid him in his quest.

She could be a warrior.

A destroyer, like he was.

"No." He answered.

"You will never leave me.

We are meant to be together."

Two years later

They waited for their plan

To fall into action.

Asakurii had gained himself

A role in society

Under a pseudonym

Under Vetashi's name.

Se-Tun was unaware

That his doom was inevasible.

Se-Tun sat pretty

In his robes of Red and Gold

But unaware to him

Asakurii was revealing himself

To certain people

His identity was gaining followers

Powerful to Asakurii

Deadly to Se-Tun

Revolutionary for China.

A Feeling of Freezing

2010-03-05T11:38:00.001-08:00

I legitimately am freezing. I'm so cold right now, it's ridiculous. Funny thing is, I've been cold nearly all week, and I didn't have a very good week. Coincidence? Possibly. Probability is highly doubtful.

I've spent the past two days formulating this blog post, trying to figure out every word that I was going to say, making my sentences in my head, and trying to figure out how I could write down some of this amazing speech without anyone asking what I was writing.

But all that aside, I've come on the computer to realize that I don't have the guts to even write any of those sentences. And now, I just feel like a coward.

-Siobhan.

Did I Mention That Country Music Makes Me Suicidal?

2010-02-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it does. Intensely. I hate country music. No clue why, I just can't stand it. At all. Hurray. I'm quite bored today, and I've accomplished nothing in the two hours that I've been up. I need to get working, actually, so I'll make this brief and hopefully write something with some substance later.

I've decided I want to talk about books today. Not just books, but I want to make a book list that I can stick to. Maybe I'll start a book club over Skype or something. It would be intensely fun, and then we could talk about books and things while life was being cool. Kinda. So! My book list. It's going to take me forever to finish all of these.

Siobhan's Future Reading List:

False Memory - Dean Koontz (Currently reading)

The House of Thunder - Dean Koontz

The Darkest Evening of the Year - Dean Koontz

Dragon Tears - Dean Koontz

The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

A Journey To The Center of the Earth - Jules Verne

Kingdom of the Golden Dragon - Isabelle Allende

City of Beasts - Isabelle Allende

Kabul Beauty School - Deborah Rodriguez

Eon: Dragoneye Reborn - Alison Goodman

Wicked - Gregory Maguire

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

The Third Angel - Alice Hoffman

Green Angel - Alice Hoffman

A Ring of Endless Light - Madeleine L'Engle

Triskellion - Will Peterson

Montmorency - Eleanor Updale

The Story of Forgetting - Stefan Merrill Block

Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien

Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien

Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King - J.R.R. Tolkien

Pendragon Book 3: The Never War - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 4: The Reality Bug - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 5: Black Water - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 6: The Rivers of Zadaa - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 7: The Quillan Games - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 8: The Pilgrims of Rayne - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 9: Raven Rise - D.J. MacHale

Pendragon Book 10: The Soldiers of Halla - D.J. MacHale

And these are just the books that are I haven't read in my bookcase. There's about a billion more that I want to read. Steven King books, those are all downstairs, and a bunch of other things. I have to get to work on my report, though.

This is what a bookworm looks like in it's natural habitat.

-Siobhan

But At Least I've Come To Terms With My Own Mortality

2010-02-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

So, I was researching chronic fatigue today. Why? Just on a whim. I tend to get really tired, run-down, and I get sick a lot. I know most of this can be due to stress, but I think that it was worth looking into. So, I went to WebMD (I did not write this stuff. They did. Don't eat me for sharing it!)

If you'd like to view the slideshow, click here.

Fatigue Cause No. 1: Not Enough Sleep

It may seem obvious but you could be getting too little sleep. That can negatively affect your concentration and health. Adults should get seven to eight hours every night.

Fix: Make sleep a priority and keep a regular schedule. Ban laptops, cell phones, and PDAs from your bedroom. Still having trouble? Seek help from a doctor. You may have a sleep disorder.

My Opinion:

This is possible. I generally sleep from 10PM until a little after 6AM which is about eight hours, but when I go to sleep after ten, it's less.

Fatigue Cause No. 2: Sleep Apnea

Some people think they're sleeping enough, but sleep apnea gets in the way. It briefly stops your breathing throughout the night. Each interruption wakes you for a moment, but you may not be aware of it. The result: you're sleep-deprived despite spending eight hours in bed.

Fix: Lose weight if you're overweight, quit smoking, and sleep with a CPAP device to help keep airway passages open at night.

My Opinion:

Again, possible. There is a history of sleep apnea within my family. I am kinda overweight, so... maybe that would help. I definitely don't want to sleep with a CPAP, and as I read further into this one, it seems that it's more likely with people with asthma, and can cause snoring, both of which I have.

Fatigue Cause No. 3: Not Enough Fuel

Eating too little causes fatigue, but eating wrong foods can also be a problem. Eating a balanced diet helps keep your blood sugar in a normal range and prevents that sluggish feeling when your blood sugar drops.

Fix: Always eat breakfast and try to include protein and complex carbs in every meal. For example, eat eggs with whole-grain toast. Also eat meals and snacks throughout the day for sustained energy.

My Opinion:

I tend to snack a lot. It's a really bad habit, actually. I do eat breakfast, but it's usually not fantastically amazingly healthy.

Fatigue Cause No. 4: Anemia

Anemia is a leading cause of fatigue in women. Menstrual blood loss can cause an iron deficiency, putting women at risk. Red blood cells are needed because they carry oxygen to your tissues and organs.

Fix: For anemia caused by an iron deficiency, taking iron supplements and eating iron-rich foods, such as lean meat, liver, shellfish, beans, and enriched cereal, can help.

My Opinion:

This is highly possible. My mom tends to be anemic, and I try to remember to take a multi-vitamin every morning, but it can be difficult to remember. (Also, I have to wait until after I eat something. Taking a vitamin on an empty stomach makes me sick.)

Fatigue Cause No. 5: Depression

You may think of depression as an emotional disorder, but it contributes to many physical symptoms as well. Fatigue, headaches, and loss of appetite are among the most common symptoms. If you feel tired and "down" for more than a couple of weeks, see your doctor.

Fix: Depression responds well to psychotherapy and/or medication.

My Opinion:

I don't think I'm stressed. The end.

Fatigue Cause No. 6: Hypothyroidism

The thyroid is a small gland at the base of your neck. It controls your metabolism, the speed at which your body converts fuel into energy. When the gland is underactive and the metabolism functions too slowly, you may feel sluggish and put on weight.

Fix: If a blood test confirms your thyroid hormones are low, synthetic hormones can bring you up at speed.

My Opinion:

I don't think I have hypothyroidism, but I do think that I have a very low metabolism. I should work on that.

Fatigue Cause No. 7: Caffeine Overload

Caffeine can improve alertness and concentration in moderate doses. But too much can increase heart rate, blood pressure, and jitteriness. And research indicates too much actually causes fatigue in some people.

Fix: Gradually cut back on coffee, tea, chocolate, soft drinks, and any medications that contain caffeine. Stopping suddenly can cause caffeine withdrawal and more fatigue.

My Opinion:

I don't drink coffee, and I really don't drink soda or take any medications with caffeine in them. Sometimes I'll have tea in the morning, just because I get sick of drinking too much milk, and tea is creamy. I don't over-load though. I'm pretty good about keeping caffeine intake under control.

Fatigue Cause No. 8: Hidden UTI

If you've ever had a urinary tract infection, you're probably familiar with the burning pain and sense of urgency. But the infection doesn't always announce itself with such obvious symptoms. In some cases, fatigue may be the only sign. A urine test can confirm a UTI.

Fix: Antibiotics are the cue for UTIs and the fatigue will vanish within a week.

My Opinion:

I don't have a UTI.

Fatigue Cause No. 9: Diabetes

In people with diabetes, abnormally high levels of sugar remain in the bloodstream instead of entering the body's cells, where it would be converted into energy. The result is a body that runs out of steam despite having enough to eat. If you have persistent, unexplained fatigue, ask your doctor about being tested for diabetes.

Fix: Treatments for diabetes may include lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise, insulin therapy and medications to help the body process sugar.

My Opinion:

I've been tested for diabetes a few times. I don't have it.

Fatigue Cause No. 10: Dehydration

Your fatigue can be a sign of dehydration. Whether you're working out or working a desk job, your body needs water to work well and keep cool. If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated.

Fix: Drink water throughout the day so your urine is light colored. Have at least two cups of water an hour or more before a planned physical activity. Then, sip throughout your workout and afterwards drink another two cups.

My Opinion:

Possible. I do drink a lot though.

Fatigue Cause No. 11: Heart Disease

When fatigue strikes during everyday activities, such as cleaning the house or weeding the yard, it can be a sign that your heart is no longer up to the job. If you notice that it's becoming increasingly difficult to finish tasks that were once easy, talk to your doctor about heart disease.

Fix: Lifestyle changes, medication, and therapeutic procedures can get heart disease under control and restore your energy.

My Opinion:

I don't think so...

Fatigue Cause No. 12: Shift Work Sleep Disorder

Working nights or rotating shifts can disrupt your internal clock. You may feel tired when you need to be awake, and have trouble sleeping during the day.

Fix: Limit your exposure to daylight when you need to rest. Make your room dark, quiet and cool. Still having sleep issues? Talk with your doctor. Supplements and medications may help.

My Opinion:

I don't work a night shift... Or any shift.

Fatigue Cause No. 13: Food Allergies

Some doctors believe that hidden food allergies can make you sleepy. If your fatigue intensifies after meals, you could have a mild intolerance to something you're eating -- not enough to cause itching or hives, just enough to make you tired.

Fix: Try eliminating foods one at a time to see if your fatigue improves. You can also ask your doctor about a food allergy test.

My Opinion:

This is kinda what happens if I eat too much dairy. I get run-down and a stomach ache (Like right now...)

Fatigue Cause No. 14: CFS and Fibromyalgia

If your fatigue lasts more than six months and is so severe that you can't manage your daily activities, chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia are a possibility. Both can have various symptoms, but persistent, unexplained exhaustion is a main one.

Fix: While there is no quick fix for CFS or fibromyalgia, patients often benefit from changing their daily schedule, learning better sleeping habits, and starting a gentile exercise program

My Opinion:

I don't have this.

I'm kind of glad that I looked this stuff up. It's good to know what causes what, and like I said yesterday, (I think it was yesterday...) I have a random interest in psycology, even though I'll never use it. Still cool stuff to know. We had a snow day today, so I had a lot of time on my hands. Don't think I'm weird. Oh, and my first English journal is like six pages long. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I'm frustrated with them.

The whiter the bread, the sooner you're dead.

-Siobhan

Fragile (noun) - Easily broken, shattered or damaged; delicate, brittle, frail

2010-02-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

And so it was.

I'm kind of bored at the moment. Not bored, per se... I'm in a procrastinatory mood? I have to work on English and the temptation to write a blog post was too overwhelming for me to ignore. Ah, the horribleness.

Today was a fairly good day, all in all. Some people made it a worse day than it could have been, and the excruciating headache that I've had all day didn't really help. Not to mention one of my best friends wasn't in school today. *Sigh* Woe is me.

Homework is smelly, so I've decided. "Here, Siobhan! Write one journal entry every two chapters about your novel, False Memory, even though there are seventy six chapters!" Thirty-eight journals? Is that really necessary? I don't think so. I have to say; I really love reading. It's my favorite thing to do, well... one of them, but engulfing myself to in the text to find underlying messages and themes? That's just... not cool. If I were an author, I would probably kill myself when students had to delve deeper into my text. I'm on chapter twenty-nine of my book, and I'm halfway through writing the first of my thirty-eight journals. This is going to be fun. At least tomorrow's Friday.

That's something cool that I learned today in Health. Being positive. I have to say that I love that class as of right now. I think that it has more to do with the fact that I enjoy all of that psychology stuff. It's so cool. I really, really love it. Maybe I'll take Intro to Psyc. next year too... It seems like an interesting class. But, what would I do with it? Like, I wouldn't want to be a psychiatrist or anything, though the subject is interesting. Maybe a few classes in college wouldn't hurt.

Five Things That Don't Reduce Stress:

Caffeine is a stimulant found in coffee, sodas and tea. A little can help you wake up and become more alert. Too much can cause nervousness and anxiety. Everyone has a different tolerance level for caffeine. If you think you might be drinking too much, try replacing some of your caffeine intake with decaffeinated coffee or tea, or caffeine-free sodas.
Drinking alcohol can seriously disrupt sleeping patterns, making it hard to get a good night's sleep. Painful hangovers are another stressful side effect of drinking. To top it off, alcohol affects good judgment, which can lead to a host of stressful problems.
Nicotine's poisonous ingredients raise the heart rate and stress out the body. Although tobacco users feel relaxed at first, they soon feel nervous again, leading to the desire for another cigarette or dip of chew. Nicotine keeps the body on a stress roller coaster at all times.
Sugary foods raise energy levels for a short time. The trouble is that your body deals with high levels of sugar by releasing insulin, which reduces the amount of sugar in your blood. Insulin can lower your sugar level, even after your blood sugar has normalized. This is called a sugar crash. It's a cycle that is stressful to the mind and the body. Eating healthy foods and keeping sugary snacks to a minimum will keep your body running smoothly and feeling great.
Being lazy is a stress factor that can sneak up on us. Napping, watching TV and playing video games are okay sometimes, but doing them too often can cause frustration and boredom, two things that can lead to major stress. Get out and enjoy the world, it's worth the effort!

Ten Things That Do Reduce Stress:

Eat healthy meals with fruits, vegetables, and grains. These raw materials provide your body with energy that keeps you feeling happier and healthier, even during times of stress.
Try to get the same amount of sleep every night, at least eight hours. Even though you may not realize it, feeling tired actually causes stress.
Exercise on a regular basis. No single activity can lower your stress levels more than exercise. In addition to a host of health benefits, exercise releases chemicals into your bloodstream that fight stress, depression, and anxiety.
Make a list of the things stressing you out. Change the ones you can. Accept the ones you can't change.
Don't commit to things you can't, or don't want to do. Remember to think about yourself and save some time just for you, even if you only spend it relaxing.
Have at least one friend you can talk to about your problems. Having a close friend requires effort, trust and sacrifice, but the benefits are well worth it. When choosing your friends, remember that no one is perfect.
Have fun. It may sound simple, but having fun often requires planning and effort. Find a hobby, sport or healthy activity that you love, and do it as often as you can.
Learn to express your feelings. Your feelings are important and you have a right to share them with others. If someone makes you angry or hurts you, don't keep it inside. Unexpressed feelings can quickly grow into huge stress factors. Respectfully telling someone how you feel has two benefits: it releases the bad feelings and it often prevents the hurtful problem form happening again.
Learn to read your stress cues. Pay attention to clues from your thoughts ("I wish I'd never gotten out of bed!") and your body (headache). The more you learn to listen, the sooner you can spot stress and work toward reducing it.
Find a stress buster that works for you. Listening to music, having time set aside for yourself, and any of these things will help.

Maybe I'll Google some more things and post them. We did that, and passed around balloons that represented different types of stress. Mine was "Fragile Fred" I kept the balloon until sixth period, then I let him free out the window. Wouldn't it be creepy if he ended up in my driveway or something? Like... because I live so close to my high school, it's eerily possible. I don't really like the idea of that happening. Maybe I'll write a short story (microfiction) about what would happen if it did, and post it here. It's possible. I don't really have a lot to say, but even just writing those down has helped me absorb some of the messages that they were implying to help me focus more. I think I'll go work on my English Journals a bit.

Confess to your stress.

-Siobhan

On The Road To Veridian City

2010-02-24T19:01:00.000-08:00

Woo-hoo.

I procrastinated today. Darn-it. I'm such a bad person... Rats.

I have nothing else to say. I'm hoping for a snow-day of epic proportions.

You are now thinking about shiitake mushrooms. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Haha.

-Siobhan

The Insider and The Pentacoth

2010-02-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

We join the Insider and the Pentacoth on a Tuesday afternoon. They are having tea and enjoying each other's company and conversation.

Pentacoth: Hello there, Mr. Insider. Would you mind to pass the tea?

Insider: Just for you, Mr. Pentacoth. We have enough for three.

Pentacoth: For three? But Mr. Insider, there are but only two!

Insider: Oh-ho, Mr. Pentacoth. Extra will have to do.

Pentacoth: I see then, Mr. Insider. Sugar, honey, cream?

Insider: No thank you, Mr. Pentacoth, cream makes my insides scream.

Pentacoth: Oh does it, Mr. Insider? That's very sad to say.

Insider: Indeed, Mr. Pentacoth. Pass the cookies, if you may.

Pentacoth: What kind of cookies would you like, Mr. Insider, if you please?

Insider: Well, Mr. Pentacoth, not the kind with cheese.

Pentacoth: Be it blueberry, Mr. Insider, is that what you desire?

Insider: No thank you, Mr. Pentacoth. Blue sets my heart a fire.

Pentacoth: Chocolate then, Mr. Insider, could that be what you want?

Insider: Again no, Mr. Pentacoth, are you trying to taunt?

Pentacoth: Of course not Mr. Insider! How dare you that suggest!

Insider: Oh come now, Mr. Pentacoth, let me first digest.

Pentacoth: Your tone, Mr. Insider, very strict dare I say.

Insider: Indeed, Mr. Pentacoth, more tea, if you may.

Pentacoth: Of course, Mr. Insider, I'll pass it right along.

Insider: Why thank you, Mr. Pentacoth, just please don't take too long.

Pentacoth: Never, Mr. Insider. Must you go home soon?

Insider: Of course not, Mr. Pentacoth, 'tis Tuesday afternoon.

Attack of a Procrastinatory Race

2010-02-23T09:16:00.000-08:00

INCOMING TRANSMISSION: Do you accept?

Hello. STOP. You're planet is being attacked by a procrastinatory race. STOP. Do you help the planet? STOP.

The planet is fairly small

Difficult to control sometimes.

It thinks by itself

It's an amazing contraption,

But one that can be difficult.

You see them from far ahead.

You zoom toward them.

They have red ships

They look like clouds

You know what is inside.

Clowns dancing,

Music playing,

Television blaring,

Alarm clocks screaming,

Siblings annoying.

You know your mission.

You have to stop them.

The procrastinatory race.

They're almost to the planet.

They're almost to your planet.

You arm your shields,

Preparing to shoot the invaders,

Preparing to defend your home land,

Preparing to die for your planet,

You go forward.

There are more of them,

More than you expected.

You're outnumbered.

At least twenty to one.

Still you press forward.

Your hand shakes on the control,

The red button.

The button will destroy your ship,

You in the process,

But it will destroy the procrastinatory race.

You edge closer to the red ships,

Preparing to press the red button.

Your hand shakes violently.

You don't want to give up your life,

But you will do what you have to.

You're in the middle of the twenty ships.

They begin to fire at you.

Clowns, dancers, video games, action figures.

Dolls, movies, television, musical instruments.

You press the red button.

Your ship explodes.

Puffy cotton shrapnel flying.

The explosion engulfs all twenty one ships.

Eliminating them.

Eliminating you.

The planet is over-joyed

The loss of the life,

Though sad

Was necessary.

Your home land is safe.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION: Do you accept?

Your brain has over-come a wave of procrastination. STOP. Only one thought was lost. STOP.

Blame It On The Rain

2010-02-23T08:42:00.000-08:00

My paper is done! Well, it has been... I actually finished it on Sunday... Heh, about that update... I did get to write the second part of my epic poem. It's going pretty well. Asakurii the Destroyer. Hu-ya-ha! Whatever. I like it so far, so I'm quite pleased with the outcome of the tale as it goes so far.

Noms.

Aright, what else? We don't have school today. It's such a fail of a snow day. Well, at least it was this morning. It's snowing now. I guess that's kinda cool. Thank you snow, I appreciate you. It's actually been a really Snow Day Filled Winter. Yeah. Capital letters for the win. What now.

Animal Crossing is fun. I ordered the DS version of the game because I got tired of trying to play it just on the Wii. Get's lonesome, ya know? So that's the deal with that. I think I'm going to write a couple poems today. I'm happy I have a relaxing snow day. I'd usually be in Algebra class right now, so I'm relishing the fact that I'm not. Lucky for me, I already did all of my homework. I just need to study for some tests now. Meh. Doesn't sound too fun, but I'll prevail. I usually do.

The snow is so beautiful. Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the view of snow? How it sets on the branches of the trees and when you look into the woods, its' the perfect combination of brown and white? I think that's my favorite part. Maybe I should write a poem about the Connecticut snow. It's pretty. Right now the snow flakes look more like enormous cotton balls than actual flakes, but, whatever works, right?

On my old blog I used to do movie and book reviews. I kind of miss that. Maybe I'll update you on what I'm reading and watching from time to time. Now's a good time. I'm reading "False Memory" by Dean Koontz. It's really good. I've never read a book of his before, though, according to Wiki, he's written over fifty books, several children's books, poems, and other things. I think that's what I like about him; he's really well rounded. I love False Memory so far. It's amazing. I love his writing style, and the way the book scares you, but keeps you glued to every page at the same time. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

I think that's it. I'll write some poems and post them later. Ya know how it goes. Maybe some Animal Crossing first? Hah, I doubt it. I really want to go read now. Oooh, I'm excited!

And I still can't believe it's not butter.

-Siobhan

Asakurii The Destroyer

2010-02-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

Part 2: Asakurii's New Aquaintance

You're still here?

Here to learn?

Learn to fear?

Fear the most fearsome,

The scariest,

The destroyer,

Asakurii?

I guess you'll learn.

Learn to fear.

After Ajurajukanesu's tragic death,

Asakurii embraced his new name.

His new destiny.

His new life.

He was unafraid of the coming years,

As physically trying as they were,

He was a Destroyer.

He was The Destroyer.

He was Asa The Destroyer.

He spent the next ten years,

Locked up in a jail.

Tired, hungry and physically able

To break out at any time,

He waited.

Plotting,

Scheming,

Waiting.

Waiting for the right time.

Luck was in his favor,

That fateful day at Noturious Prison.

The day he waited no more.

The day he escaped.

A deadly rainstorm,

Fatal lightning,

Thunder cracks the size of the Great Wall,

Asakurii waited.

But he waited no more.

He ripped the chains,

Off the wall of his cell,

Smashing into the steel door.

Frightened guards had no idea,

No clue of Asakurii's strength.

Neither did he.

He killed many of them,

Grabbing his sword on the way out.

Freeing himself of the shackles of China.

He hid in seclusion for another five years,

Painfully secluded within a crevice in the Mountains.

Farmers passed by occasionally.

Herding livestock

Asakurii killed them.

Gaining up his strength.

Getting ready to emerge.

Emerge and take power.

Take power from those who shunned him.

One of these farmers.

Vetashi.

A strong man,

Once a soldier for the dynasty,

Now a lowly farmer,

Trying to earn a living.

He passed by Asakurii's cave

With his livestock.

Asakurii attacked him,

Vetashi equally matched him.

"It seems we are at a draw, friend."

Vetashi's voice rang.

"Why do you attack, when it is so easy,

So easy to make acquaintance. To become aquatinted?"

He stood up,

Holding his hand down to the dirty Asakurii.

Asakurii accepted.

An act of faith

Rewarded.

"Thank you, friend."

Asakurri responded.

"What is your name?"

Asked Vetashi.

"Asakurii."

He answered.

Vetashi did not notice,

Notice the meaning,

Of Asakurii's name.

Vetashi and Asakurii spent another two years plotting,

Recruiting,

Soldiers of the dynasty,

Fed up with the way it was ruled.

Tired of a totalitarian society,

Ready for action,

Ready for battle,

Ready for a new leader,

Ready for Asakurii.

Procrastination Attacks Planet Brain

2010-02-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, I admit I've been procrastinating. A lot. A lot, lot, lot, lot... you get he idea. I haven't written a sufficient blog post in quite a while. Why? Not quite sure. It may have something to do with my mood. Currently I'm a bit mellow, getting over the fact that I had a bad morning between younger brothers, un-understanding parents, and having a fever. Tylenol doesn't help even the slightest of aches, but it's all I'm not allergic to. So I've been lazing around watching a combination of mindless cartoons, commercials for products I don't care about, and the Olympics. And of course the occasional four hour splurge on Animal Crossing. Addicted you say? I say nay. I need to join Animal Crossers Anonymous.

"Hello, My name is Siobhan, and I'm addicted to Animal Crossing."

"Hi, Siobhan."

Yeah, and so my life goes.

I don't know why I've been acting so down lately. Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed with everything I've got going on. I feel like I have no time to do the things that I think are important, and things that I want to do. Like poetry. You see, I post one every few days. That doesn't make me happy. I really want to be able to do a 1000 word free-write every day, write in my journal every day, write a poem every day, take an outside picture, and a picture of me every day, and write on here every day, as well as do some additional writing on one of the stories I'm writing or Asakurii The Destroyer. It would really be lovely. But, I can't. I have to do homework, clean my room, do laundry, wrap a present for my cousin's baby shower, end up sick with a fever so I can't even go to this baby shower, deal with all of the drama going on at school, try to stay healthy so the director of the school play doesn't snipe me for being absent, and pass my Chemistry test tomorrow. That's a lot to deal with. Did I mention that French is my least favorite subject? I didn't? It is.

Mom and I did figure out our schedule for next year. Hopefully I'll be able to take all of the classes I want: American Studies (Combination History/English class) ; Acting ; Speech Arts ; Madrigals ; H.A.M. (Honors Advanced Math, combination of Trig and Pre-Calc) ; Some science class without a lab ; BCT ; And a Criminal Justice class. Nothing big, I think it's a pretty packed schedule. And, to be honest, I'm pretty sure that I can handle it. I feel like I'm really starting to get a work ethic, and I want to live it to the fullest, even if procrastination still has a happy place in my brain. I'm not happy with it though...

Yesterday was Science Horizons. It was... boring? Is that a strong enough word choice? I got to sit around, listening and talking to other science nerds blather on about their radioactively decaying facebook pages and how they plan to stop global warming by injecting estrogen into cilantro leaves. Boring is a good word after all. I didn't make it into finals, happily. My project was crap.

"I tested the effects of phosphate infused water on Poa pratensis. See, I went around to local lakes, and tested the amount of phosphate in the water, finding it to be the highest level. See, when you plant your garden with a fertilizer, the water that runs off into these lakes is called eutrophicated water, and holds too much phosphate, which is beneficial for the plants underwater. I decided to test this theory on the plants that we use every day, Poa pratensis, or Kentucky Blue grass for example. I had twenty five plants, and each were watered with a different concentration of phosphate infused water, the lowest of which having none of this water, and acting as my control group. I watered them every day for four weeks, taking measurements every week. I hypothesized in the beginning that the plants grown with 100% phosphate infused water would grow the fastest and the fullest, but at the end of my experiment, I found that I was completely wrong, and, in fact, the control group did the best. Why did this happen? Well, I think that because there was so much phosphate, it actually stunted the grown of the plants, because the plants in the middle groups did about the same. Why did I choose this project? Well, usually I tend to lean toward projects that have to do with crime scene investigation and fire and things like that, so I wanted to step outside my comfort zone and try and do a project that I didn't know much about going in."

I must have said that like nine times yesterday. It was irritating. Thank God I didn't make it into finals, I probably would have killed myself with one of my friends turbine blades.

I'm procrastinating on my homework... Gah. I don't want to write a paper on my project. Can't this whole Science Horizons thing be over and done with? Apparently not. Sad face. Maybe I'll reward myself with some Animal Crossing after I finish my Algebra and Chemistry homework. If there's any time left... Gah. Well, I should get started. I don't want to disappoint on my Chem test tomorrow. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes every cell in my body sad. I don't like that class. No, it's not the class. I have no problem with Chemistry as a class. I have a problem with my teacher. Whatever...

You are receiving a distress call from Planet Brain. This planet is being attacked by a procrastinatory race. Will you help the planet?

-Siobhan

P.S. That gives me an idea for a poem. Maybe I'll write that as my reward. Wish me luck.

Asakurii The Destroyer

2010-02-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Part 1: Ajurajukanesu

You have come,

To learn,

To understand,

What it means to be,

A warrior.

A destroyer.

A master of blade, fire, water and earth.

Who breathes the very flame within your heart.

You have come to the right place.

Our story begins in a temple.

A dojo, you could say.

The young hero you have come to study,

Resided here from the time he was three.

Abandoned by his parents,

To be raised by Chinese Monks,

His goals were soaring eagles,

His heart was pure and gold.

But his story has yet to be told.

Asa was strong,

He was not afraid to know it.

He had mastered the art of the sword,

By the time he was fourteen

Secretly,

Under the guidance

Of a rebel Chinese Monk.

Ajurajukanesu.

"The man with three names".

Night after night,

Practice after practice,

Wound after wound,

Asa learned to master the sword.

His moves became flawless,

Sleek, unpredictable and wild.

Like his heart,

Like his mind,

Like his sword.

Ajurajukanesu was patient,

But for very little time.

As he grew older,

His patience depleted

Until there was close to none.

Asa tried,

To keep up with Ajurajukanesu's dangerous requests,

But fatigued and careless, he injured Ajurajukanesu.

A fatal wound,

An accident of fate,

Asa lie down with Ajurajukanesu.

"My son" he said "What have you done?"

Asa did not answer,

He was afraid of what he would say.

Emotions on high,

Adreneline pumping through his blood,

He stared at Ajurajukanesu.

"Asakurii." Ajurajukanesu said.

"Asa the Destroyer.

Once a master of the blade,

Guided by innocence and love,

Now blinded by passion and impatience.

You are a Destroyer.

Worst of our race.

Leave now, allow me to die.

Seal your fate."

Asakurii watched fearfully.

Ajurajukanesu's eyes drooped steadily.

His heart began to slow

And he let out a final breath,

Sweet and smooth.

Asakurii did not breathe until he knew.

He watched as Ajurajukanesu's soul traveled

Out his eyes, and into his sword,

Which glowed a fantastic red.

Asakurii watched.

The blade excited him

He could feel the possibilities.

He touched the blade,

Watching as the red color

Traveled up his arm and into his eyes.

He looked in the mirror,

Watching as the red engulfed his once brown eyes.

They glowed eerily, demonically, horribly.

He smiled a most evil smile,

Gripping the edge of his blade

With all of his strength.

The forced the tip of the blade into the mirror

Shattering his reflection

And his memories of happiness.

The red color still traveled through his blood,

Changing him.

He became Asakurii The Destroyer.

It Is What It Is...

2010-02-16T18:30:00.000-08:00

Three-hundred seconds. That's all it takes for your life to change. Three-hundred seconds. So much can happen in that five minutes of your life. You can get a bad grade on a test. You can open a mailbox to find that you've gotten into the college of your dreams. You can watch as a loved-ones life ends right before your eyes. You can fall and hurt yourself. You can win the lottery. You never know what's going to happen in those three-hundred seconds of your life.

But I had an okay week. Sure, I didn't do as well as expected to on a test in my history class. I got a 97, mixing up Capitalism and Socialism for one question. A single question. That probably was answered well within those three-hundred seconds. That's all it took to take away those three points. I'm angry about that test. It is what it is.

English was okay this week too. Sure, an 86 on an essay is fantastic for some people. But me? No. I'm very angry with my grade. Furious, even. I guess you could say that. But apparently my ideas weren't developed, even though I went through seven drafts to get that essay fully developed, and I really thought I had done well. Angry? Yes. I feel like I deserved more than an 86 on that essay, but that's what pisses me off about grading, really. It's all opinion. If a teacher doesn't like your topic, or agree with the points you make in an essay, they have the power to chill there and say; "86!" and you just have to deal with it, accept it, and use that to say; "Aright, fine then." in your next essay. It is what it is.

Science fair is tomorrow. I finished up the preparations for my display board and other things today. It looks okay considering I did it last minute. I don't really take it seriously, and I don't want to get into finals. It sucks up your life. I don't want it sucking up mine. That would suck. I'm hoping for a solid grade from my teacher, but I'm not wanting a solid grade from science horizons. I don't really care what they have to say. It is what it is.

I'm kind of in a lazy mood. I just want to go to sleep I guess.

It is what it is.

-Siobhan

Liquid Velvet Steals A Life

2010-02-15T18:39:00.000-08:00

Night creeps upon me,

Like liquid velvet,

Lulling my sub-conscience,

Lulling me deeper into sleep.

Darkness employs me blindly,

My brain a lively riot,

A state of uncanny brilliance,

Pulling me so deep.

Uncertain I am,

Where are they right now?

As my heart begins to slam,

To find them I fully vow.

Save me from my misery,

Liveliness so steadily,

Creeping on my insides,

Showing on my outsides.

Writhing as my heart stops,

A steady beat that ceases,

Sent into anaphylactic shock,

My eyes rolling back.

Blood spreads on the black top

Of my sub-conscience, bleeding

Into the deep airlock

Of oxygen departing, I'm under attack.

Uncertain I am,

Where are they right now?

As my heart begins to slam,

To find my way back I fully vow.

Save me from my misery,

Liveliness so steadily,

Creeping on my insides,

Showing on my outsides.

Losing feeling from my fingers,

Blood creeping away from my toes.

Rushing to my heart.

Trying to save it.

Too much too fast, a thousand blisters.

The faint beating of my heart echoes.

Pulling each artery and vein apart,

Sending each cell into a fit.

Uncertain I am,

Where are they right now?

As my heart begins to slam,

To find the light I fully vow.

Save me from my misery,

Liveliness so steadily,

Creeping on my insides,

Showing on my outsides.

Too far gone,

Something is wrong.

They've made a mistake,

One they can't remake,

Taken my life away,

A procedure gone astray.

A life that used to be strong,

Taken by a surgery gone wrong.

*The idea was that this was from the point of view of a patient who's surgery went wrong. This is what she went through as she died.

A Rescue Attempt Would Be Illogical

2010-02-15T16:38:00.000-08:00

And I'm just not feeling up to it. I'm tired, that's fair to say. Very tired. I've been watching a lot of the Olympics today. Go for the gold, USA. I did a lot on my science experiment, and am happily finished with all of my homework. So why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?

That overwhelming feeling that you have a million things to do, when in truth, I don't have anything that absolutely needs to be done. So, freaking out and stressed? Yes. But for what reason? I have absolutely no idea.

Maybe it's because I don't feel too good... Hopefully we'll have a delay from school tomorrow, I definitely don't want to go back there, even if I did do all of my work.

Night is creeping like liquid velvet upon my sub-conscience, lulling me into sleep. Maybe I'll succumb and give in.

Sounds like a plan.

-Siobhan

At Least I'm Not Alone In Being Lonely

2010-02-14T05:21:00.000-08:00

Tuesday afternoon,

I'm still thinking of you.

Remembering moments so inopportune,

I miss you, now I know it's true.

Checking the mailbox,

Empty it seems,

No valentine to warm my heart,

To sew up all the seams.

Where were you today?

I missed you as you went away.

I sent you a valentine,

Lay it on the boarder line,

Tell me that you miss me,

I wish that you would kiss me,

Valentines day,

Please just fade away.

Become a distant memory,

Take with it all you've snatched from me.

Tuesday night,

Haunted by your memory,

Makes my mind alight,

Corrected by the way I see.

Wind rustles through the clouds,

I feel a chill run through my bones,

I wrap myself in shrouds,

Avoiding people, I am alone.

Where were you today?

I missed you as you went away.

I sent you a valentine,

Lay it on the boarder line,

Tell me that you miss me,

I wish that you would kiss me,

Valentines day,

Please just fade away.

Become a distant memory,

Take with it all you've snatched from me.

Wednesday morning,

The tolling interrupts,

My sleepless doze ceasing,

Your voice, my heart erupts.

The phone shakes within my hand,

"Hello" You say, like liquid velvet,

Soft and smooth, unique and grand.

"Happy Valentines Day" your words like a poet.

Why did you call today?

I'm happy you did, I dare-say.

You sent me a valentine,

I'll lay it on the boarder line,

You told me that you miss me,

You'll be here soon to kiss me,

Valentines day,

Remain here to stay.

Remind me of my memory,

Give back all that you've snatched from me.

Valentines day,

Thanks to you he's back to stay.

Valentine's day sucks. I'm sorry, but I don't think that I've ever been moderately happy on Valentine's day. Even last year when I had a boyfriend, nothing. I don't want to get into that one though. I'm in one of those... "Gahhhhhhhhhhh" moods. And my eyebrow is itchy, though I really don't see how that's relevant.

I was eligible for a new phone with Verizon, today. Well, so much for that. I think we're going to end up with crappy phones anyway. So, I don't care.

Nothing really exciting except for the Olympics, at the moment. Glad to see the U.S. take Silver twice today, and even glad to see a Canadian gold. I do have dual-citizenship, I have to support both sides of my heritage.

Go for the gold.

-Siobhan

Color Me Impressed

2010-02-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well, not impressed, exactly. I'm quite proud, though. I wrote two songs today. One of which I posted. I think they're pretty good. The other one is about Valentines day. I'll post it on valentines day... quite obviously. I'm still not impressed... I should probably write a song about how pissed off I am at Valentines Day. It's a stupid holiday. I guess it's common to feel lonely on Valentines Day, though. It's fantastic. Not really. At least I'm not alone in being lonely.

And I've decided that I don't like Harry Potter movies anymore. They're irritating. All of them. I don't care which one it is.

Harry Potter One? Harry's a noob. Like, majorly. In every way. Nooooooooooooby. What a freeking loser. But as if that's not enough, he has to decide to be all "Noobishly heroic!" Oh freeking boy. Well, he gets Ron blown up by chess pieces, and then he gets a rock from a mirror, burns the skin of a turban wearing freak, and then faints when he gets Voldy through him. What a loser.

Harry Potter Two? Jeez Harry, ya didn't know you could talk to snakes? Anything else you don't know? Yeah. How about everything. "Follow the spiders"? What a freeking genius. Yeah, let's follow the man-eating spiders to try and prove our giant friend's innocence. Good job. Or you could just find the piece of paper in Hermione's hand. There's a thought. But no, always do things the hard way and end up fighting the enormous snake with a bird and a hat. Good job, Harry.

Harry Potter Three? Wow, way to not notice that Hermione can time travel. Doesn't take a retard to figure that one out... But, apparently it does, because Ron got it. The only good part about this one is that you find out Sirius is cool man. But before that you're all wimpy and like "NO, DON'T EAT ME DEMENTORS!" Yeah. Get a life, Harry. Stop hearing screaming women within your head and man-up. Were-wolves? Please. Hermione could take them with her eyes closed, and probably did. But you? Scream, run, okay.

Harry Potter Four? YOU LIAR YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE! What a jerk! Breaking the rules. Tsk, tsk, Harry. And then you have the nerve to deny it? Yeah okay. Sure it was the freak who escaped from Azkaban. Blame it on the convict. I see how it is. And Voldy? You were just asking for him to come back. You couldn't even keep away the freeking mermaids, or figure out the egg without someone's help. Brilliancy.

Harry Potter Five? Yeah, the only good part about this movie is the fact that Fudge goes "He's back!" at the end. And that Voldy goes "Gah!" while he's invading Harry's private thoughts. Nice one, Voldy. You get him. Beat 'em! And Bellatrix is my favorite. "I killed Sirius Black!" No kidding, we only watched you do it.

Harry Potter Six? "Here, professor! This'll make it better!" Liar. Don't give the potion to Dumbledore. What did he ever do to you? And you take that liquid luck stuff and end up drunk. That's lucky. But that's not all, you're also having mixed feelings about your best friends sister, because your sixteen year-old emotions are going bezerk. Too bad Daniel Radcliffe is like forty now. Puberty was a while ago... But no, you keep going, and your stupidity kills Dumbledore. At least Snape had a cool part. "I'm the half-blood prince! Peace" No battle, no nothing. What a waste of my time.

I guess I can't rant about the seventh movie yet... I'm really not all that impressed with these movies at all. The only thing I am impressed with is the recipe for Butterbeer that my friend found online. Not too shabby.

I think that's all? I had a pretty crappy day, actually.

I open at the close.

-Siobhan

The Verge of Breaking

2010-02-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

Well, hello.

I haven't seen you for a while, here,

Don't cha know?

Yes, everything's been fine, here,

How are you?

No I'm not the only child, here,

You are too.

And I said, "Hey there, don't you remember,

When we were so much younger?

It was only last December.

But I hoped you would remember.

Because I've been wishing,

My heart has been aching,

It's on the verge of breaking,

Because I've been wishing,

Just for you."

How's your life?

It's gotten oh, so dark, here,

You've got a wife?

I've been stranded in the park, here,

Don't you care?

But then I guess I've got a life, here,

Love's so rare.

Yes, I said "Hey there, don't you remember,

When we were so much younger?

It was only last December.

But I hoped you would remember.

Because I've been wishing,

My heart has been aching,

It's on the verge of breaking,

Because I've been wishing,

Just for you."

Sometimes I hoped that you would find

Your way back to me just in time

For me to see you as I once did

And you and I would skid

Back to where we once were,

When we once were Here.

But I said, "Hey there, don't you remember,

When we were so much younger?

It was only last December.

But I hoped you would remember.

Because I've been wishing,

My heart has been aching,

It's on the verge of breaking,

Because I've been wishing,

Just for you."

Just for you.

It's on the verge of breaking,

I'm on the verge of breaking.

A New Spin On The Old Nightmare

2010-02-12T04:03:00.000-08:00

So, I've been having this re-occuring nightmare for about... nine? Ten years? Something like that. Not every night, just every couple of months it'll shock me. I don't even know if you can categorize it as a nightmare anymore. It was when I was five, but now? I'm not really that scared of it, just kind of irritated.

It starts out kind of weird; I'm in an enormous field with a bunch of people I know, and we're competing to finish puzzles first (like on Survivor). My team is never the same; different people I know are there at different times. But anyway, a giant like... Robot thing comes and takes away everyone, leaving just me, and puts me down in this desolate little village. But it's a creepy village. Everyone is afraid of this one "witch" within the village, and she's just... creepy. So, me, being the weirdo that I am, get a few people together to steal something from her, and then we go and try and take it, but she captures us, and she looks like a girl my age (People hadn't actually seen her). So, whatever. We go back out empty handed, but she's pissed, and she tries to change the weather so it's always raining and stuff, but we don't want that, so we lock her up. She somehow escapes and pretends to be a normal teenager staying at a hotel. So me and my friends go and follow them to the hotel, and then lure her to our car where we exploit the demon within her by making her eat peas. (Don't laugh.) And then my friend Meagan and I run through the isles of a grocery store.

However, this last part? That's new... I've always been caught by the witch person, I've never actually caught her. And you know what was weird? She had this whole story about why she was like that. I think my imaginative mind is playing new tricks on me...

So, lately I've been thinking about things... All sorts of things, mostly besides the things that I mentioned yesterday. At the beginning of this year, I made an enormous "New Years Resolution" list, as well as my 2010 To Do List. I've done a few things. According to Wiki (Ah, wiki. You fail to disappoint.) a New Year's Resolution is: A commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. So, it's when you want to change, and you try to. Okay. Wiki defines a To Do List as: A list of errands and other tasks - often written on a piece of paper as a memory aid - that one needs or intends to accomplish. Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. I didn't think that I was going to go crazy with my to do list, but, looking back on this little brown notebook, It seems to be quite extensive. I'm not too sure if I approve...

Goodness gracious me, oh my.

Today's To Do List:

(This might work better; a daily list instead of a ridiculous list for the whole year.)

Homework
Shower, clean room, do some laundry
Pick out a movie or two for Movie Night tomorrow
Charge cell.
Continue going through documents
Buy books on Amazon
Look at more music on PV.

Weekend Homework List:

French: Workbook, and vocabulary 3x each.
English: Get story of website, annotate, respond using CAPT questions, finish other responses, start reading False Memory
World Studies: Nothing.
Algebra: Test corrections, two worksheets
Chem: Powerpoint, display board, final paper and study for test

I think that's good for now. I'll probably do some other things in addition, but it's nine in the morning, the day is fresh, the sun is out, my stomach is growling. I should probably tame the beast and feed it.

Maybe I'll put on Star Trek. I do love that movie... Or I'll see if the Matrix is on. I'm in a Matrixy mood at the moment. Not that I've ever seen it... Ah well, someday. I'll put it on my To Do List.

Live long and prosper.

-Siobhan

Chewing On Things

2010-02-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

Everyone wants to know that they're here, among other people. They want to know that they're not alone, that there are people out there that care about them and what they do, usually besides their parents. Most of the time these people turn to a medium to release their inner desires, to call to people and say, "Here I am! Follow me on Blogger! Listen to what I have to say! I'm important, I promise!" We look for this influx of people, complete strangers, to comment on what we have to say, to make us feel important and interesting. To say, "Wow, yeah. You're really interesting." But we don't really want their approval. We just want someone's approval. It doesn't matter who's. It could be Bill Gates, or Bill Stewart down the street. It doesn't matter.

On a side note, the title of this post refers to the fact that I'm thinking about about a billion different things at once;

Music? Yes. I'm always thinking about music. Where can I get new music? What genres are there that I haven't experimented with? Acoustic has found a place in my heart over the past few days, which I'm greatly thankful for. Bands like HE IS WE and Cady Groves are amazing at the moment. But I'm sure I'll move on to something else fairly quickly. At school, I'm in Madrigals. I love it. Probably my favorite non-academic class. Of course I mean things like Math and Chemistry when I refer to academic classes, but I do love Madrigals. The teacher is amazing, and she really connects well to us as high school kids. Not to mention I'm friends with pretty much everyone in that class. Like, really good friends, which makes it very easy to have a good time in that class. Music is always on. I made an amazing playlist, re-named Scrambled Envy, and it's got every song that isn't part of a show. It's completely random, and I can shuffle it, play it normal, do whatever I want with it, and I love it. I listen to it every day. On the other hand, I have my "Show Tunes" playlist (I do need a better name for it...) where I can keep all of my show music. I really hate shuffling shows... I feel like I want to listen to a whole show if I'm going to, not just one random song from it.

School? Yeah, school is pretty much always on my mind. How did I do on this test? What homework do I have? When is that enormous project for Chemistry due? Yadda yadda yadda. This quarter I'm doing much better. I kind of fell in to an "I don't care" attitude at the end of last quarter, and it really effected my grades. Not good. But, I'm back on track now, and should be happily on track for the rest of the quarter, and then the rest of the year. French is probably my least favorite subject. My teacher is ridiculous. She doesn't teach us, only tests us on things that we don't know. I really don't like her as a teacher. I'm sure she's a lovely person, but as a teacher, she kind of sucks. I'm not a big fan of my chemistry teacher either. She's crazy, and doesn't like me. She stuck me in the back of the room. Now, if you're a teacher, and you have a student who isn't doing well, wouldn't it make sense to put that student in the front of the class, where they can pay attention and try to improve? I think so. But no, she goes and puts me in the back, the complete opposite of what you would think. Not to mention that I'm short... Just saying, though. My algebra teacher is nice, a little eccentric, but nice. I like her. She's funny. My World Studies teacher is really interesting. He includes economics into all of our lessons, and I really think that economics is interesting. I like finding things out that I didn't know before, like random facts. They're cool. English? Yeah, it's an interesting class. We do a lot of reading short stories, and books, a lot of delving into the text and pulling important information to use and annotate. Which is good. It'll teach you to do it. I did it when we were given our articles for our World Studies exam about Napoleon. It really helped, and I ended up with an A, so I guess it works, too. The only thing about English, is that she piles on work. She tells us that we're just going to be doing short stories and responding until the CAPT (Connecticut Aptitude Performance Test, I think...) and then we're going to be starting some Shakespeare, but instead, we're doing a whole new "Modern Author" project starting Tuesday. We already picked our books. Mine is by Dean Koontz, but I can't remember what the name of the book is. Something about fading or something... However, we have to respond to a story too, so... whatever.

Reading? Yeah, reading is cool. I'm a bookworm, minus the worm and plus human. It's a good thing. I'm reading The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf right now. It's amazing. I really like it. The point of view is kind of weird, because it goes from the main character one chapter, to a completely different character later, and you know who's speaking from what the chapter title is. Weird, like I said. It kind of makes me happy, though. The last book I read was White Oleander, which was amazing. I loved that book, and am almost sad to see it go back to the library. Bye, bye, book.

I guess that I freak out during the week. Enough to propel me to spill all of my thoughts at one time, so I can move on to stress out about the next thing. You know that stress can actually cause you to sweat? That's gross. I learned it today in health. I really don't like that. But I can do it, I can. Time to get to work, power down, and get things done.

-Siobhan

Once In A While...

2010-02-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get the urge to create a new blog. I enjoy making them, making each one unique, different. I can talk about different things in different places. This is my fourth blog. I'm proud to say that. Greedy? Probably. You might say that. But I like it. People can think what they want, thats my personal opinion.

I like to think that I'm different, but so would everyone. Truth be told, we all like to think that we're different; it's what makes us all the same. But still, I think I'm different. I have different views about what I like, what I need, what I think is interesting. I like to think that I'm an interesting person, that the way I think may be interesting to other unique people.

I have views that most people didn't see. I see the world in a different way, I guess. Sometimes I wonder if everyone sees the world the same. I mean, physically. What if people see orange, and they see it as blue? What if people hear language differently? Who knows? All we know is what we here. I could be typing in what looks like Korean to you, but English to me. We won't know until we go into someone else's head.

I'm a very musical person. World music is probably one of my favorite genres, only because it makes such fantastic study music. I can really focus, partly because it's been proven that listening to music in a language you don't understand can keep you focused, because you're less likely to pay attention to what they're saying. Same with watching TV. They (whoever they are...) say that you should put on a TV show in a language you don't understand for white noise.

I'm a visual learner. Flash cards, movies. They all help. That's how I learn. I can't just read out of a text book, or write something down on another piece of paper. I have to see it, and make a mental connection. It makes studying a bit harder, but at least I know what kind of learner I am. I don't know why that's relevant to anything, I just felt like sharing.

As of right now, I have some homework that I need to get done. I'll have to post tomorrow.

-Siobhan